Cold and Suffering

Baby it's cold outside.  Cold!  After spending 3 years in Florida, my blood has thinned, and we're just not used to these sub-65 degree temperatures.  

I had to have the following cold weather conversation with my kids.

There are these nifty inventions called shoes and socks and sweaters and coats.  People wear them when they are cold, and they suddently feel warm.  I realize that you may not be familiar with such an unsual item as a coat, but really we have a bunch of them in the closet, go put one on and go back outside. 

Yes, I really am that sarcastic.  They love it. 

But, while I'm sitting here complaining about the cold, secretly I love it.  I love the brisk, invigorating feeling. I love wearing sweaters and boots and jeans.   The heat makes me feel sluggish and slow while the I find the cold air invigorating and refreshing. 

But, I think the biggest reason I love the cold, is that you need the cold and the winter and the dark to appreciate the summer and the sun and the warmth.    Just like, sometimes we need to get sick, to appreciate our health.   Or we need to feel lonliness to appreciate our friends.   I think those who have lived through wars are better able to appreciate peace.    We don't get to choose which suffering we have, but we do get to choose how we respond to it.   So, this winter, while we're suffering through frigid temperatures and chilling winds I will remember my Florida friends, who are frolicing in the warm sunshine and how much I longed for the cooler days during those endless weeks  years of hot sunshine.

There is nothing so wonderful as that first warm, sunny spring day after a long cold winter.   Right, now, these 55 degree temperatures feel absolutely freezing, but after a long, cold winter, 55 degrees can feel downright balmy. 

Bring on winter!!!

So, for today's Theme Thursday (guest hosted by Mary Kate) I bring you a few older pictures from winters past. 

2009...I love this picture...the framing of the windowsill..the little head peeking outside, the setting sun.

Again...circa 2009.  I especially love twilight in the winter and gorgeous sunsets over snow. And, yes Heidi is wearing a super fancy dress in the snow.  Why?  I have no idea, but she was probably wearing snow pants underneath it.  And, John is none too pleased with the snow.

What I Learned From being Laptop-Less and What We're Reading Wednesday: Finding Grace

So...on Saturday night the black screen of death appeared across my computer laptop.  I knew it was coming...I had seen the signs...the flickering screen, the slow loading, the sudden shutdowns.  But, on Saturday it just died..leaving me computer-less.  Shocking I know.  How could I ever survive? It was tough I tell ya!  And, I wasn't even totally unplugged, because I could still access email and Facebook on our Kindle Fire...but it was difficult and cumbersome and typing was super hard, so mostly I stayed off the Internet except for quick email and Facebook checks.

And, I learned a few things in the process.

1) I don't waste nearly as much time on the computer as I thought I did..and I didn't get nearly as much cleaning and organizing done without it as I thought I would.   I'm just as good at wasting time by reading a good book as I am at reading blogs...so apparently I'm just a time waster. 

2) School goes much better if I shut the computer down during school hours.  So from now on..when we're doing school, the laptop stays closed.

3) I depend on the Internet a lot for connections with people...so it was pretty disconcerting not to be able to easily reply to blog posts or Facebook statuses or emails.  I felt a lot of disconnection and isolation.

4).  I REALLY missed blogging.  REALLY missed it...I never considered myself a writer until I started writing and learned how much I really love it. 

5). I had a lot more time for reading actual books.

Which brings me to:  Linking up with Jessica

 it

Finding Grace is written by Laura Pearl...a fellow blogger, that I have been following for a few months now.

A few weeks back, one of my favorite bloggers, Rebekah,  (who actually lives right ON the beach and her blog makes me want to move back to Florida and frolic with her frolicsome, fun family) reviewed this book.
And, she was kind enough to let me borrow it over Kindle...so I've been eagerly devouring the book (and making sure to finish it in time to return as Kindle only lets you borrow books for 14 days).   Ever since I came across Laura's blog and discovered that she wrote a book, I've been dying to read it as I knew that coming from her, it had to be good.  But...we don't have a lot of money in our budget for books, so I was ever so grateful when Rebekah let me borrow it.

Finishing it in time should be no problem at all as I am finding the book to be rather engaging and hard to put down.

Finding Grace is the story of a Catholic teen growing up in the 70's.   I loved reading about life in the 70's...because while I was born in that decade, I was too young to remember it.

The book deals with a lot of the issues many teenage girls face...insecurities, romantic fantasies, unrequited love  crushes, jealousy,  difficult teachers, sexual pressure, teenage pregnancy, birth control and underage drinking.   But, it also deals with other serious issues...the death of a childhood friend, feminist issues and the Holocaust. However, unlike most teenagers, Grace has a strong Catholic faith and a deep devotion to the saints to guide her.   In fact, Grace desires to be a saint and throughout the book, her deep faith and devotion is what keeps her going strong.

Most of the main characters in the book manage to come across as both inspirational and believable....which is a difficult task for an author, but Laura pulls it off beautifully.  Church teachings and stories about the saints are sprinkled throughout the storyline....but for the most part..it is not done in a preachy way and the book manages to both instruct and inspire while still providing an interesting and engaging tale.

While I didn't buy the book this time, it is something I am definitely planning to buy for my own girls in the future  Due to the serious nature of some of the issues discussed, I believe this book would be most appropriate for girls high school age or older, but even adult women would find this story endearing and inspirational.  Unlike many other books I have read, this book inspires and encourages me to be a better person. I will happily give it to my own daughters to read when they are old enough. 

5 Things Plus 2 Time Hacks = 7QTF

Hooray for another Friday..which means it's time for another 7QTF.  So, here you have 5 Things + 2 Time Hacks for 7QTF.

 1.

I'm finally a REAL blogger.  I had my first big discussion/disagreement/argument on the debt post I wrote earlier this week.  I feel like, I've finally been initiated into the the real blogging world!.  The whole discussion thing was on Facebook though..so sorry..you can't go back in this blog and read it.  

2.

Speaking of that, I just wanted to say, that I really DO NOT mind if people disagree with me.  I mean, there is no fun if everyone agrees.   But, I do ask that commentary be respectful and not make assumptions about people or put them into boxes.  I think there is real tendency (and I'm guilty of it too) of thinking that all people who do X think/act/believe a certain way.  Our human tendency is that we want to categorize people or put them into boxes, so as soon as someone says they do X, we automatically in our mind group them into the same category as everyone else who know who does X...when really all the people who do X can be quite different and have different motivations and reasons.

On that same note, if we read someone's blog or know them on Facebook, we think we KNOW them...when we really don't.   Bloggers just put a tiny slice of their life on the internet..just a tiny, tiny slice and it's the slice they CHOOSE to make public.  We can't really assume that we know everything about them or that we fully understand where they are coming from, their unique situation or anything else about them.

3.

So, I keep seeing all these activities and classes and things posted for teens.  And, I skip right over them, because I don't have a teen, my oldest is only 11, right?   And, I go back and actually read them and see that they are for 6th grade and up.  Since when was a 6th grader (typically 11 or 12) considered a teen?  Me thinks I'm just in denial.  Although, according to Simcha, teenagers aren't all that bad.  And, while I don't have an actual teenager yet, pre-teens aren't all that bad either.

 

4.
. 

I hate these and don't really know how they got into our house, but somehow they did..and I hate them.

I mean, it's hard enough teaching a toddler not to put non-food items into their mouth and now they have to go and make non-food items smell like food. Like most kids don't love markers anyway, now they have to go and make them smell good?

5.

So....I hate to point this out...but you see that little link on the side of the page that says "Shop on Amazon."  Well...if you use that link to get to Amazon, I get a few pennies off what you buy (at no extra cost to you).   Lots of bloggers have Amazon affiliate links, so if you're shopping on Amazon anyway, help a blogger out and click their link before you shop.

Time Hacks 

Now, I promised you two time hacks...so here they are. Two ways I've recently discovered to save time.  And, if the rest of you all have been doing this for ages....well humor me and tell me I'm a genius anyway.

6.

 Hair Drying

I dry my hair while checking email/reading blogs/reading a book/paying bills and blogging. I used to hate drying my hair with a hair dryer, because it took SO LONG and was just SO BORING to stand in front of the mirror and dry my hair. But, now we live in Virginia and in the interest of saving money, we keep our house at an insanely low temperature, which means wet hair is not the best.  So, I started taking my hair dryer into the living room, plugging it in by my computer, and drying my hair while catching up on my blog reading. 

7.

Socks

Match your socks BEFORE you wash them....like as as soon as you take them off your feet.  After you take off your socks, fold one over the other (I heard this is bad for socks, but whatever..I do it anyway) and wash them just like that.  It works fine..and they get totally clean and they're already paired up. It's especially good for baby socks that tend to get get eaten by the dryer.

Go see Jen for more quick takes. 

Pretty, Happy, Funny Real Motherhood with Some Thumb

Linking up with Like Mother, Like Daughter. 

{Pretty and Happy}

Saw these guys cavorting right across the street from us..just.walking around the neighborhood at 3:00 in the afternoon without a care in the world.  Part of me is all Aww, deer, how pretty, I love deer.   The the other part of me is all OH NO!!  Where there are deer, there are deer ticks.  Aaaaargh, we can NEVER go outside again. 

Yes, I tend to exaggerate a bit, and actually thankfully we haven't seen any ticks in our yard at all.... yet.  

Sorry the pictures are so bad, I took them through our window.

{Funny} 

So, when you've lived in Fl for three years, the first time it hits 50 degrees, you tend to dress you baby like this.  Cause...that's COLD outside.

{Real}

This is what real motherhood looks like, linking up with Messy Wife, Blessed Life and Mommy Notes.

 So, this is what real motherhood looks like for me.  Baby  Toddler nursing. Photoshopped edge of shirt because it was pulled up due to nursing and you could see my fat rolls sticking out.  And closet door wide open with just a hint of messy closet.  Not to mention that cup right by the computer.  What is in that glass, you may ask?  Water?  Wine? (yes, we are just classy enough to drink wine out of plastic cups). No matter what it is, it's sure to spill and wreak damage and destruction.  Does anyone move it though? No..no one doth move it.  There it stays for 3 days hence, until finally it is knocked over...causing destruction and despair (or at least lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth).  

And, since I'm trying to win the award for most link-ups possible in one post, and since you can see my thumb (along with my really gross, vein-y hands and sinewy arms) in this picture, I'll just link up with Cari's Clan for Theme Thursday thumb.

Let's talk money....or Debt is not the Worst Thing in the World

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately where people talk like debt is the absolute worst thing in the world...and debt should be avoided LIKE THE PLAGUE.  If you have debt, you will NOT BE happy until you pay it off...and you MUST do EVERYTHING in your power to get out of debt IMMEDIATELY..even if that means sleeping in a cardboard box and working 15 jobs. 

REALLY!!!???

I mean, no one is saying that debt is a good thing, but it's NOT the WORST thing in the world.  It's not something to be avoided at all costs, if those costs include your sanity and your peace. 

Okay, first of all, while debt is not a good thing, it's not immoral either.  The bible talks about debts.  It talks about paying your debts.  It doesn't talk about debt being TOTALLY EVIL.  Debt is simply a tool that we may sometimes use when we need something and can't afford to pay for it right away.  Things like oh...education or houses.  

Now, clearly debt is not a good thing if you are using it to live outside your means. And anyone who reads this blog, knows that we are all about saving money and being frugal around here.   

But, sometimes things come up.....like a law degree because your husband feels called to law school and is a bit burnt out by teaching.  And sometimes the only way to get that is by taking out loans.  And, that's okay....because if everyone listened to Dave Ramsey and no one took out student loans there would be a lot less doctors and lawyers around.  And well...most people would agree that doctors are pretty necessary.  Lawyers on the other hand....it's debatable how necessary they really are....but well....someone's gotta know the law. 

 Now...I agree that one should be hesitant about going $80,000 into debt so they can get a degrees in oh...something really obscure like  Himalayan basket weaving.  But, maybe what this world really needs is more Himalayan basket weavers?  Or maybe someone feels a calling to a more clear career path, like nursing or education or theologian and those student loans may be just what they need.  

And..sometimes even smaller things come up...like the transmission goes out or you need a new car.  And, sometimes you have to go into a small amount of debt...and that's okay.  It doesn't make you a bad person and it's not a moral failing.  I've know good people who've had foreclosures or gone into bankruptcy or had a short sale...and you know what....they're still good people.  Sometimes we make mistakes and bad choices....and sometimes bad things just happen to us.  That's life.  Our worth is not measured by our financial independence.

This doesn't absolve us of financial responsibility., we still have to pay our debt and be wise and prudent..but our worth and value is not measured by the size of our emergency fund or if we are solvent. Even Dave Ramsey himself goes into "debt" each  month when he uses electricity before he actually pays for it!   

So, definitely be frugal....save money.....pay extra on any debts if you are able.  Get a second job IF it doesn't cause too much stress or anxiety.  Do what you can within reason....but don't let debt or financial worries rob you of your peace.  And most of all, listen to Auntie Leila...because there are things worse than debt.   Pay especially close attention to her third point....because are Auntie says...you can get money later, but maybe not kids. 

Trust in God, do your best, be wise and have confidence that everything will work out  Because, usually sooner or later, it always does.  

'
(linking up for encouraging posts). 

What I Wore Sunday, Finally A Dress and Why I Love the Time Change and It is Necessary

Linking up with FLAP for more WIWS.

I'm actually wearing a dress!!  This dress is several years old...I bought it back in 2008 on clearance from Motherwear.  It's a "nursing dress" which is a joke because there is really no way to nurse discretely in it without using a nursing cover, and if you're using a cover, you don't need the "nursing panel" or whatever it has. Anyway, I've only worn this less than a handful of times, because I didn't have the three items necessary to make this dress work...a nursing cover, tights and boots.  This dress material is super heavy and thick and warm, so it only works when it's cold outside, and if it's cold enough for this thick material, it's cold enough to need tights and boots. 

I used to never wear skirts when it's cold outside because I didn't have the tights and high boots necessary to make the outfit warm enough.  But, I managed to pick these tights and boots up from Wal-Mart on clearance last week...so voila.  I have a feeling this dress will get more wear now...along with my other skirts this winter. 

And, speaking of nursing, Elsa gets an A++++++ for Mass behavior today.  Thanks to the time change, she was ready for a nap as soon as Mass started, so she nursed, was asleep immediately and slept through the entire Mass.   Yipppeee..THAT made Mass easy!

Which brings me to my  next topic.  Everyone loves to complain about the time change.  I used to be one of those time change complainers too....until I realized that the time change is really my friend.

You see, in my house, we (well the kids and I...not my night owl husband) are very much sleep with the sun type people. In other words, we basically wake up as soon as the sun comes up...no matter what time we go to sleep, we are up with the sun.   So, because we rise with the sun, I'm pretty aware and sensitive as to what time the sun comes up in the morning...and living in different states has given me good experience on what time the sun rises in different parts of the country at different times of the year. 

The time change in the spring (switch to Daylight Savings time) is most helpful to those who live in the Eastern part of their time zone.  You see, when we lived in RI, round about June when the days are longest, the sun starts to rise around 5:15 AM.  Without the switch to DST a few months earlier, the sun would be rising in June at 4:15 AM.  YIKES!!  That's EARLY.  So, what DST does is shift everything later so it is light later and gets dark later. This is most helpful to those on the very Eastern side of their time zone.  

Now...let's move forward to the fall.  When we lived in Lexington, and then Louisville KY, (which is basically right on the Western edge of the Eastern Time Zone) I noticed that round about Oct, right before the time change, the sun wouldn't rise in the morning until almost 8:00 AM.  This was especially annoying when I lived in Lexington and went to grad school, because I would wake up early and power walk every morning before heading to school and it would still be DARK outside.  I hate walking in the dark by myself.  So, I was always relieved with the time change.  Because, you see, without the switch away from DST back to Standard time in the fall, round about December, the sun would not rise until almost 9 AM .  So, the time change in the fall is most helpful for those who live on the Western side of their time zone. 

But what about Indians you might ask?  Many counties in Indiana don't do Daylight Savings Times.  That works for Indiana because Indiana is on the very Western side of the Eastern time zone so even without the DST switch, it still doesn't get light until a reasonable hour in June.    I assume the same would hold true for Arizona, which I think is on the western side of the mountain time zone...but I've never been there, so I don't really know.

If you happen to live in the middle of your time zone, then the time change probably is just annoying...but we all have to make sacrifices so just think about all those people who live on the western side of your time zone and be thankful that they don't have to wait until 9 AM for the sun to rise in December...or that those on the Eastern side aren't dealing with a 4:30 AM Sunrise in June.

Or go ahead and complain if it makes you feel better.

7QTF Halloween, All Saint's Day, Good News and other Stuff

1.

Ben passed the bar exam!!!  What a relief.  They FINALLY posted the results yesterday afternoon.  We were both hitting refresh on our computers all day yesterday, and when they were finally posted, I called him at work, and we looked at the "Pass List" together.  Talk about a scary time on Halloween!!! My heart was a-pounding until we saw his name on the list.  So, now he's licensed to practice law in the fair state of VA (which has one of the hardest bar exams in the nations, I might add).  Now..on to finding a lawyer job!!

 Thank  you for all your prayers...I know they helped!!  

2.

We do Halloween lite here.  It's not my favorite holiday by any means, because I hate putting costumes together, I'm not a fan of all the candy, and I don't really care for scary stuff.  But, the kids wanted to go trick or treating, so trick or treating we went.  Except apparently nowadays (we haven't been trick or treating 3 years), everyone goes trick or treating EARLY while it's still light out.  I think it's weird, because part of the fun is going in the dark, but whatever.  We were planning to get out by 7:00....well. because we are always late..that turned into more like 7:30 before we actually got out the door...so by the time we went around ,a lot of people were closing up shop.  We still got plenty of candy though..and had a nice evening walk.

Yes, we are the kind of people that have crooked pictures handing on our walls.

Greta is a bride.  John is a dragon.  Elsa is a bee.  And, Heidi has the scariest costume of all...she's a lawyer.

Cutest bee I've ever seen.

3.

Happy All Saint's Day.  Today we went to an All Saint's Day Party at church!

The kids had so much fun.

I know they don't look like they are having fun...pictures are never fun.

Mary, St. Edward, St. Zita and St. Clare.

St. Clare was less than saintlike when it came to wearing a veil.

They had their picture taken with Pope Francis too.

4.

So, I keep seeing this video posted on Facebook.

See Why We Have An Absolutely Ridiculous Standard of Beauty in 37 Seconds

Except I can't find 37 seconds without kids in the room to actually watch it.  Seriously, I can't get 37 seconds with all the kids outside before someone comes inside for...something.   Like just now they all came in because it started raining outside.  Sheesh...go play in the rain.  So, if you watch it...let me know how it is...because apparently, I will never get around to watching it.

5.

This is why I hate internet videos.  I hate news videos.  I especially hate recipe videos.  Who the heck has 15 minutes to watch someone make a recipe, when they could read the recipe in like 15 seconds.  Seriously.  There is nothing that annoys me more  than when I click on a link and there is no news story or recipe or whatever and it's just a video.  I would so much rather read a story than watch a video.  I am NOT a visual learner.

6.

It's funny how different different kids in the same family can be.  John is 5 1/2, and while  he is super smart at reading, math and chess, he is a bit behind in his fine motor skills and has trouble holding a pencil the right way and doesn't care at all for writing or drawing.  Elsa is 13 months old, holds a pen the right way,  and is already a rather prolific scribbler...especially on walls, in books and on her own legs.  She will happily sit there and "draw" for quite a long time.  Now, if we could just get her to draw on paper, instead of walls, books and legs, we'd be golden.
7. 

I saw this posted on Simcha's blog.  It's a wonderful take on that Maria Kang controversy.  Warning..it's long, but at least it's not a video.

Here's a quote..to entice you to read more.

Perhaps its relative uselessness is part of what makes self-improvement culture and health-fitness culture so appealing. It’s easier to fill one’s moral voids by exercising or studying art or undergoing psychotherapy than to view one’s fellow humans as one’s equals. Which is certainly not to say that they’re mutually exclusive, of course. One can lift weights and do volunteer work, read literature and give to charity, eat a balanced diet and be kind to children. The problem comes when doing things “for yourself” is seen as a morally equivalent act to doing things for others, because both are grouped into “doing good things.”

Linking up with Jen for 7 Quick Takes