Five Favorites: Nothing for Christmas

Have you finished all your Christmas shopping?

Have you even started all your Christmas shopping?

For the shopping procrastinators of the world (this means me), I bring you my five favorite gifts...linking up with Hallie for her Five Favorites and Mary Kate for her gift giving guide.   

1.

For the man in your life..

A gangsta fedora from Hats in the Belfry.

Isn't that snazzy?  It even comes with a little feather.  It's just perfect for the newly barred lawyer in your life. 

Don't worry, my newly barred lawyer picked this out himself, so I'm not ruining any surprises or anything.  I used to make fun of him for wanting a fedora!  But, he sure is debonair looking in it!

2.

For the pre-teen girl in your life who is getting "into" clothes.

A dress from ThredUp. ThredUp is a really cool online consignment store where you can get really nice clothes, super cheap.   And, if you go through that link up there, *you* get $10 free towards your first order and I get $10 credit.  (win, win!).  So sign up now!

3.

For the 9 year old girl who loves stories

Illustory

She's gotten one of these like every year for the last 3 years, and she still loves it!  It's her favorite present and the books she creates are very much treasured. Plus, it's really neat to see how her writing had changed and matured over the years.

4.

For your little 5-year old chess prodigy

A stuffed jaguar.  

Why?  Because I asked him what he wanted and he said he wanted a stuffed jaguar?

So that has nothing to do with chess and I was just being random. 

5.

And for the little toddler who's getting  Nothing for Christmas because she's been Nothing but bad.

Kidding, kidding.  She's actually not getting Nothing for Christmas.  She's actually getting a Diego library book that she scribbled in (see, nothing but bad).   Okay, okay...maybe a few other things too (and she's actually very good...except when she's screeching and scribbling in library books and throwing food on the ground and refusing to nap...but the rest of the time she's an angel.). 

Actually, we were thinking of fulfilling her wildest dreams and giving her a roll of toilet paper and a bowl of cat food.   Although on a more hygenic note, I like the suggestions Mary Kate has on her toddler suggestion, so we might just go with one of those. Check them out.  

Rich Man, Poor Man

There have been a lot of articles about poverty and wealth floating around the Internet the last few weeks.

Dave Ramsey posted on his blog, 20 Things the Rich do Every Day (an article by Tim Corley) and then Ben Irwin came back with a post about 20 Things the Poor Really Do Every Day.

If you haven't read it, Linda Tirado wrote a haunting, gut-wrenching article about poverty that went viral a few weeks ago.  The article is titled, This is Why Poor People's Decisions Make Perfect Sense.   Then Angelica Leicht wrote an article stating that Ms.Tirado's article was a work of fiction.  Then Ms. Tirado comes back and tries to prove it's true. 

All this Internet talk got me thinking a bit about poverty and wealth, so I thought I'd post my own jumbled thoughts.

Regarding Tim Corley's article about the habits of the rich...well on about 16 of those points we fall on the rich side of things, yet we certainly aren't rich.   As Ben Irwin said, those habits are more likely to be a result of being rich than a cause of wealth.   Actually, most of them are more a result of being educated than of being rich per say.

His #17 point reads:  84% of wealthy believe good habits create opportunity luck vs. 4% of poor.   

Well, of course they think that..they're rich. It's human nature.  It's the "can't happen to me" mentality.  It's the same mentality that whenever I hear or read about a stillbirth or baby death I immediately start wondering the cause and scrambling to find it. I'm desperately searching for a reason to say that can't happen to me, I don't have that disease, or I don't do that, so that can't happen to me. 

Instead we should be saying...there but for the Grace of God, go I. 

Just like our physical health, our financial state is mostly a matter of combination between luck and our decisions. A person's physical health is probably due to both their genetic make-up and their health habits (diet/exercise).   And even health habits can be due to luck....I eat healthy because I was blessed to be raised by parents who eat healthy....who turned 1/2 of their 1/2 acre plot into a vegetable garden and did the whole organic thing before it was cool.  A person who grew up with nary a green vegetable crossing their plate is not as likely to start eating boatloads of kale as an adult. 

And, the same thing goes for wealth, numerous studies have shown that the economic position a child has is highly correlated to his/her economic position as an adult.  Yes, you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get out of poverty, but even then people who do that are most likely gifted with certain talents that allow them to do that.  They have the brains and academic ability to succeed in school,  They have family who support them. They get scholarships and go on to higher education.  Children born with learning disabilities or those born into homes where reading isn't encouraged have a much harder hill to climb when it comes to getting higher education and getting out of poverty.

And, even those who manage to become rich through starting their own business probably have a talent and skill set that not everyone has.  Many years ago when my oldest was only 7 months old, I fell prey to one of those work at home mom/network marketing/home business type things  I probably shouldn't say "fell prey" because I wasn't a victim and I don't think those things are all bad.   I even met a mediocre amount of success  (mostly due to luck).   But during that time I read the stories, I saw the testimonials...the people who started making 20,000 dollars a month and paying off their homes and going on vacations.  And, that is great for them...but I think the people who meet success in those endeavours have a certain talent and skill set that not everyone has.  They are salespeople, they have a charismatic personality.  People want to follow them and be with them and listen to them.   When I was actively working that business, I was taught to treat everyone you meet as a potential customer.  And, I just can't do that. I don't WANT to do that.  I don't like selling things.  In fact, I HATE selling things.  When I was a kid, we had to sell candy bars for chorus (why I was in chorus is something I will never know, because heaven knows, I sing like a frog).  But anyway, I actually bought the candy bars I *had* to sell and then threw most of them away (because I didn't want to eat that much candy), but the thought of going door to door and selling them was just too awful.  I HATE fundraisers and selling things and we totally shy away from any activities that involve selling stuff because I HATE it.  So, as you can see, I'm probably not the person who is going to make it rich by starting their own business, because businesses involve selling and I hate selling and I'm not good at it.   But some people like that and are very good at that, and that is their path in life. 

So, yes, one can get out of poverty.  But it's disingenuous to not recognize the obstacles some people face, obstacles that may not be there for others. 

On the flip siede though...I'm not totally a bleeding-heart liberal.  People do make bad decisions, and Ms. Tirado's article did not convince me that those poor decisions make perfect sense.  For example, the most common poor decision that lands a woman in economic poverty is the decision to have sex with a man that is neither committed to her nor to any potential child that might be conceived.  That may not be a popular opinion, but it's the truth.  Better birth control is not the prudent answer, because birth control can fail...and does...frequently...and single motherhood is a major cause of poverty among woman and children.    Obviously some poor, single women have had to leave abusive relationships, and others have been abandoned by their husbands.  But oftentimes people do make poor decisions, and those decisions have long-standing economic consequences. 

But again....there but for the Grace of God, go I.   Because I was raised with loving parents and old-fashioned morality that has served me well. 

I will admit, I don't have much personal experience with poverty...not really. I was raised middle-class and for most of my adult life have been middle class, but for a few years while my husband was in law school, we were economically poor and qualified for public assistance.  However, we never lived the lifestyle Ms. Tirado is describing.   We were educated, had safe housing, working vehicles, the knowledge and ability to cook real food and and the ability to get whatever we needed  And, while we didn't have dental/health insurance we were blessed to not have any major dental/ health problems during that time.  So, I will freely admit, I don't know what it's like to truly live in poverty....to be forced to live in unsafe housing, to truly not be able to buy food, to be really sick and unable to afford health care.  I don't know...and anyone else who's never been in that place doesn't know either.   We say we are poor...but that really means that we can't afford to take vacations or eat out, or eat all organic, grass-fed, free-range food, or give our kids lots of extra activities and lessons.   I have no idea what it's like to not be able to afford safe housing...so I can only imagine how horrible that must be and how such a situation could drive someone to make poor decisions. 

But, we have been technically poor...and I will say that public assistance programs ARE enabling.  We actually ate better back then than we do now with a typical "middle-class" income. Government assistance programs may be necessary and helpful and I'm glad they exist, but they definitely DO enable people and help KEEP people in poverty.   Because, when you get something for free, there is less of a motivation to work to earn more money so you can pay for it.  If someone can work at McDonald's and maybe earn enough to pay rent, and use food stamps and get free cell phones and all that, then there isn't the same motivation for them to go back to school get a degree and work towards a higher paying job.   Yes, the majority of people on public assistance DO work..and that's a GOOD thing.  But are they all working up to their potential?  Is the public assistance enabling them to stay at lower paying jobs, rather than working to move upward? I'm sure that answer is different for everyone, but for some people it is clearly yes (while for others, it is clearly no).  

So, what's the answer?  I don't know.   I realize I have not made any major points here.  As I said before, I clearly believe public assistance is necessary, otherwise there would be a lot more starving children out there.   But, I still don't think it is the best answer.  Giving people more and more free stuff doesn't necessarily help them, but sometimes it is what is needed.  I have a friend who met an impoverished mother a few years ago and every since then has taken the family "under her wing" and helped them out in various ways.   That is true Christian charity, and that is what more of us (no matter how much money we have) should be doing.   Because when it all comes down it, when it we look at others in various terrible situations - whether due to their own poor decisions or not - all we can really do is pray for for them, do our best to help them as much as we are able, and say there but for the Grace of God, go I.    

WIWS and Advent/Santa thoughts

My camera broke last week..but..never fear...I will not let that stop me from posting WIWS.  These pictures were taken with our Ipod. 

I hardly ever wear shirts/sweaters tucked in, but I got this sweater on clearance for ONE DOLLAR last winter, but unfortunately it is way too big.  I'm wracked my brain trying to find a way to make it smaller (without doing any actual, you know...sewing) and the best I was able to come up with is tucking it in to make it not look so ridiculous. 

The pants are super old and from Express and my boots (which you can't really see) are also several years old from who knows where?

And John really wanted to be in the picture.   Speaking of John, today we had the finding of the Child John in the Temple  Church.  As we were leaving Mass, John decided to somehow turn around and start walking the other way.  But his story is less dramatic than that of Jesus, because we found him in about 3 minutes instead of the 3 days Jesus was lost. 

And, Ben thought I should show off my snazzy, thrift store find leather jacket...so here it is.   It's a bit faded, but super comfortable and a lot nicer and more flattering than all my others jackets (which are all more of the athletic type).   It would probably  look really good with a scarf..but I don't really care all that much for scarves or the way they feel around my neck.

So, how is every one's Advent going? Micaela sent us Jesse tree ornament and a devotion book, which has been a lot of fun and I've actually enjoyed doing that as part of our nightly prayers. 

We haven't been too good at staying away from sweets.  We have stayed away mostly ...but between a Christmas party on Tuesday and St. Nicholas day on Friday, it hasn't been too much of a sacrifice.   

This morning while I was Mass, I noticed the little girl in front of us holding a Pound Puppy?  Any other children of the 80's remember those?   I guess, all toys comes back in style too. I remember one year on Christmas asking for a Real Baby doll and a Pound Puppy.  My mom was all, why? You already have a real baby (my little brother) and a real dog.   Ahh..such are the troubles with commercialism.  They make you think you want stuff you don't really need.  One awesome thing about the Internet and Netflix and all that is that my kids basically watch zero commercials.  As a result, they really don't have the I want that toy because of the flashy commercial mentality.  Yay for Netflix!

Anyway, speaking of Santa, I thought I would post a little bit about how our family does Santa.   We're kinda 'meh' about the whole thing.  I used to be pretty "anti-Santa" and "it's lying" and all "we don't do that", but I've mellowed out on the Santa thing the last few years.  Mainly because two of the years that Ben was in law school and money was tight, we had a real Santa gift us some things.  And, that was awesome.  And while the kids know that it was real people who sent us stuff, they also know that it was real people we don't know, and that's kinda like who Santa is (and what St. Nicholas did)  and we are very thankful for those people and will pray for them. 

So, we're kinda nonchalant about the whole Santa thing.  We do give our kids a few presents on Christmas morning and fill the stockings, but we don't say that stuff is from Santa or anything.  We also don't really do wish lists.  I tried asking my kids what they wanted for Christmas while on one of our walks and the whole experience gave me high blood pressure, so that was the end of that. 

The main reason I decided not to do Santa is that my own experience with Santa as as child wasn't that great.  I mean, I never did wake up on Christmas morning and find a pony on my front lawn, so I was always a bit disenchanted with the whole thing.  Not to mention the fact that the neighbor girl who was an only child and went to private school got 5,000 presents and we got fewer, less lavish items (not that we were really poor or anything, we just didn't get lavish presents), so the idea of a magical man giving more/better presents to some kids just didn't sit right with me.   So, we basically sorta opt out of the whole Santa thing and don't make a big deal out of it either way.

Speaking of presents and poverty, stay tuned tomorrow for my rambling thoughts on poverty and wealth and public assistance and social justice and all that good stuff.

While you're waiting for that (with baited breath, no doubt) go see FLAP for more Sunday fashion. 

7QTF: Elsa's Escapades

 A long, long time ago, in a blog far away, I wrote a post about toddlers.  

Well, now my dear sweet baby Elsa has reached terrible toddlerhood.  I am not a fan of one-year olds.  I like babies and I like kids older than three, but could just as soon skip the ones and twos.   

And, so, for your Friday Quick Takes Entertainment, I bring you Elsa's Escapades in honor of a little 14-month old wrecking ball.

As an aside, I'm a bit ticked off that Disney decided to come out with a new movie (Frozen) and name the princess Elsa.  Last year when Elsa was born, the name was only #724 in popularity in the United States (although it was #5 in Sweden).  I am going to be quite ticked if the name suddenly skyrockets in popularity.

Anyway....

1.

Future Tattoo Artist.

Elsa likes to draw...on herself. 

Look at those lines...the artistic formation...the carefully drawn patterns traveling up the thumb.  It all means something I tell ya. 

It means she is quite clearly right-handed. 

2.

She's also a fan of drawing on paper....and books....and walls....and floors.  Her fine motor skills are rather remarkable for someone her age.   If you're thinking of buying stock, I predict that the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser company is going to see a large increase in sales. 

3.

Future Book Worm

4.

Eater Extraordinaire

Must have food NOW.  And, who is the idiot who gave that child a ceramic plate?

Someone has smartened up and given her a plastic plate.  Because you know, Her Royal Highness refuses to eat off a high chair tray.  Oh no...she INSISTS on eating off a plate and with a fork...just like everyone else.

At least she's using her fork.

Notice the hand tattoo.

Until she doesn't. 

5.

Death Defying Dare Devil

Good thing she has her big brother to watch out for her.

6.

Runaway Bunny

C'ya Mom.  I've got places to go and people to see. 

7.

Exceptional Mess Making Skills

But thankfully she's super cute!

And, I could just eat her up.

Baby for dinner!  And, all you organized people don't look...yes my cabinets really are that unorganized.

If only she would just stop wearing my shoes.

Go see Jen for more Quick Takes

Lights

In the beginning was the Word. The Word was with God and the Word was God.

He was with God in the beginning.

Through Him all things came into being.  Not one thing came into being except through him

What has come into being in him was life, life that was the light of men.

And light shines in the darkness and darkness could not overpower it

John 1: 1-5

I snapped this picture early this morning as Ben was leaving for work.  I have no idea why the streetlights ended up looking like candy canes.  They don't really look like that.  Maybe they it's really UFO's?

Ever since I heard a Franciscan Friar preach about the first chapter of John at a Youth2000 retreat, I've loved those first few verses.  It was first thing that popped into my mind with the theme of Light.   This is the season of lights.. Advent candles, Hanukkah, Christmas lights, as the days get shorter and darker, we are reminded that the light of Christ shines strong.  No matter what happens in this world..the darkness can not overpower the light. 

Linking up with Cari for Theme Thursday. 

Five Favorites for Babies, Toddlers, and Advent/Christmas

I haven't posted a Five Favorites in awhile, but with Christmas coming up, I though y'all might want some suggestions.  Or not...but humor me anyway.

All these links are affiliate links, which means if you buy from Amazon, click on the link and at NO COST to YOU, *I* earn like a penny.   Or, if you want to buy ANYTHING from Amazon, you can click on my link on the right (the one that says "Buy From Amazon") and if you buy something big, I might even earn two pennies I could rub together.  In fact if you do any shopping at all on Amazon, if you click that link, I earn a few pennies...and it doesn't cost YOU anything.

So, without further blah, blah, blah...here are my 5 Favorites.

1.

Peekaru Baby Wearing Vest

I LOVE taking walks and hiking and we go on walks fairly often, and I'm not about to let a little thing like 35 degree weather slow me down.   When the weather is warmer, I prefer to use the jogging stroller, but in cold weather I don't feel comfortable sticking a baby or toddler in the stroller, no matter how bundled up they are.  We are walking and moving so staying plenty warm, but the baby/toddler is just sitting/lying there and it can get pretty cold just sitting/lying there when it's cold outside.   So, I usually babywear when it's really cold, because then the baby/toddler shares in my body heat and stays warm.

Enter the babywearing vest...which is basically like a big vest that goes over both of us.  As a bonus, it covers up baby/toddler's feet and hands (since in my experience, zero toddlers or babies happily keep mittens on their hands) and from feeling her hands and feet she stays plenty warm and snug in there. 

I can wear her in front.

Or put the vest on backwards and wear the baby on my back.

Love it.

2.

Phillips Avent BPA free Natural Drinking Cup

I love this because it's NOT a sippy cup and is a good transition to teaching kids how to drink out of a regular cup.  The toddler can drink anywhere along the rim and when their upper lip touches the rim, the liquid drips out.  Now...it's not totally spill-proof, if it's thrown on the ground, or dropped or anything touches the inner rim (as is likely to happen in a diaper bag) it will leak slightly...but that is why it comes with that green top,...for traveling in diaper bags. 

It did take Elsa a little bit to learn how to drink out of it without dribbling water all down her front.   Unlike a sippy cup or bottle or breastfeeding which involves sucking action and the liquid being drawn straight into the back of the mouth for the easy swallowing, the child has to learn how to move the liquid to the back of the mouth for swallowing.  But they have to learn someday...and this cups makes it easier.  And, I like to get my kids drinking out of regular cups as soon as possible because I hate sippy cups.  We always lose them and they have a million parts that get lost or dirty and I just find keeping track of them to be super annoying.  I'd rather they learn how to drink out of a regular cup without spilling or making a mess that much earlier. 

3.

Nativity Fabric Advent Calendar

This is a fun calendar to keep track of the days in Advent.  I like that it is cloth and velcro and the kids can play with it and move the pieces around and still keep everything together.
4.

The Nativity Play Set

So all the other bloggers are posting about how they love the Little People Nativity Play Set.  We don't have that one...we have this one, which I like a lot.

We don't do any fun stuff where the wise men travel around the house and get lost or anything.  That's too complicated for me...we just set it up and play with it.

5.

Advent Sacrifices

I'm not super strict on this, but we've been trying to limit sugar/desserts/sweets during Advent.  Normally, we don't eat a lot of desserts anyway, but things always tend to slide in the fall starting with Greta's Birthday in October, closely followed by Halloween/All Saint's Day, then my birthday and then Thanksgiving.  So, I feel like Advent is a good way to get us back on track with limiting sugar/sweets.  We still eat them if we are out at a party and for special feast days (like St. Nicholas Day), but overall we're going to stay away from any cookie baking or sweet eating until Christmas.

Go see Hallie for more 5 Favorites. 

Bentrup Babblings

1.

Me:  Come on Elsa, time to go take a nap.  Nappy time is a happy time.

Heidi:  Yeah, nappy time is a happy time FOR US

Much as everyone loves their little sister, there is a big collective sigh of relief when the toddler wrecking ball goes to sleep.

2.

Me: (as I'm sorting laundry and Elsa is undoing my piles and  putting the clean clothes back into the basket)  Elsa, don't put that in there, that's not where it goes.

Greta:  Mom,  don't be mean. She's just trying to help. Say "thank you".

Guess she told me.

3.

Greta: Mom,  here is a math problem for you.  Alice had 87 dollars.  She bough a pie for 15 dollars, a house for 2 dollars, a dress for 20 dollars and milk for 12 dollars.  How many dollars does she have left?

Wow...talk about inflation and the housing crash.  A house is only 2 dollars but milk costs 12 dollars. 

4.

While discussing my little brother's upcoming wedding.

Greta:  So, everyone in our family is going to be in the wedding.  Mom will be a bridesmaid, Heidi and I will be flower girls and John will be a ring bearer.  What will dad be?  Will he be a bridesmaid?

Everyone else:  laughing hysterically. 

5.

Diaster Preparations R Us

John (totally out of the blue): I know what you should do if you don't have a key to your house.  You should sleep in the car.

Greta (totally out of the blue) : Mom, what would you do if a volcano suddently errupted in the yard? Would you would run inside as fast as you can, or would you run in the car and drive away as fast as you can?

John: What would you do if this bridge collasped?  Would you have to open to the doors super fast and swim to shore?  Or would you just float and wait for a boat?


6.

John: I put a jar of peanut butter on my head and got peanut butter in my hair.  Is it fine?

Me: No that is not fine.

7.

Ben: Hey Greta, who's your favorite author?
Greta: {Thinking}
Ben: C'mon, Greta, you love to read.
Greta: I'm trying real hard not to say myself.

Go see Rosie for more funny kids sayings.