Bentrup Babblings

1.

Me:  Come on Elsa, time to go take a nap.  Nappy time is a happy time.

Heidi:  Yeah, nappy time is a happy time FOR US

Much as everyone loves their little sister, there is a big collective sigh of relief when the toddler wrecking ball goes to sleep.

2.

Me: (as I'm sorting laundry and Elsa is undoing my piles and  putting the clean clothes back into the basket)  Elsa, don't put that in there, that's not where it goes.

Greta:  Mom,  don't be mean. She's just trying to help. Say "thank you".

Guess she told me.

3.

Greta: Mom,  here is a math problem for you.  Alice had 87 dollars.  She bough a pie for 15 dollars, a house for 2 dollars, a dress for 20 dollars and milk for 12 dollars.  How many dollars does she have left?

Wow...talk about inflation and the housing crash.  A house is only 2 dollars but milk costs 12 dollars. 

4.

While discussing my little brother's upcoming wedding.

Greta:  So, everyone in our family is going to be in the wedding.  Mom will be a bridesmaid, Heidi and I will be flower girls and John will be a ring bearer.  What will dad be?  Will he be a bridesmaid?

Everyone else:  laughing hysterically. 

5.

Diaster Preparations R Us

John (totally out of the blue): I know what you should do if you don't have a key to your house.  You should sleep in the car.

Greta (totally out of the blue) : Mom, what would you do if a volcano suddently errupted in the yard? Would you would run inside as fast as you can, or would you run in the car and drive away as fast as you can?

John: What would you do if this bridge collasped?  Would you have to open to the doors super fast and swim to shore?  Or would you just float and wait for a boat?


6.

John: I put a jar of peanut butter on my head and got peanut butter in my hair.  Is it fine?

Me: No that is not fine.

7.

Ben: Hey Greta, who's your favorite author?
Greta: {Thinking}
Ben: C'mon, Greta, you love to read.
Greta: I'm trying real hard not to say myself.

Go see Rosie for more funny kids sayings.

7QTF Bentrup Babblings, Mind-Boggling Auto-Correct and the Chromebook

Time for another 7 Quick Takes Friday...linking up with Conversion Diary. 

1. 

So, in the tradition of the Family Es, we've started playing Thorn and Rose at Dinner time.  The gist of the game is that each person goes around and says what their thorn (the worst thing that happened to them that day) and their rose (the best thing that happened to them that day). 

Here is a typical day.

John:  My thorn is that I didn't get ice cream.

Daddy the Lawyer:  You can only count a non-occurrence if there was a reasonable expectation of it's occurrence.

John:  My thorn is that I didn't get ice cream.

Me:  There was no reasonable expectation of ice cream today, so try to think of something bad that actually did happen.

John: Okay, my thorn is that I didn't get what I wanted for dinner.

Me: I give up. 

My kids just do NOT get this game.   Either that or their life is just so charmed that the worst thing that ever happens to them is that they don't get ice cream. 

Clearly this day did not have a thorn, as he got ice cream. 

And, from Greta..the safety pup 

2.

Greta: (as she is getting out a butter knife to spread peanut butter on bread).  Mom, can you please move out of the way.  I don't want to accidentally stab you with this knife. 

Those dangerous butter knives. 

3.

Greta: How did people cook before stoves were invented.

Heid:  They cooked over fires.

Greta:  So, say they wanted to cook soup.  First they had to very carefully gather firewood.  Then they had to build a fire outside their house because if they built it inside, their house might burn down. Then they had to watch out for the fire and put their crockpot on the fire, being careful not to get burned.  Then they had to put their soup in the crockpot, being very, very, very careful.  Then their soup cooked.  Then, they had to throw water on the fire to put the fire out, before they could take their pot off the place where the fire used to be.   And, they had to be very careful so they didn't burn themselves.  So, I'm glad stoves were invented.

Because no one ever burns themselves on a stove. 

4.

I love homeschooling.

Every morning and afternoon my oldest daughter makes coffee (don't worry it's decaf) and the kids all sit at the kitchen table and drink decaf coffee with obscene amounts of cream and sugar and play Uno.  Yes, my homeschooled kids sit around drinking decaf coffee and playing Uno.   Even more funny, they call it is party.  Everyday's a party around these here parts.  Don't worry, they do actual schoolwork too.

Yet, another picture showing a crooked picture on the wall.  Doesn't this lady every hang her pictures up straight? Not to mention those dirty feet on that little boy. 

5.

Greta: I'm going to make up a new holiday.  It's called Grown-up Halloween.  And, what it is that grown-ups go around and knock on people's doors, but instead of getting candy, they get money.  So, Mom, you can put it on your blog and tell all your friends and start a new holiday. 

So, there you have it..I'm starting a new holiday.  I hereby declare that on Grown-up Halloween you can go around knocking on people's doors asking for money.  

6.

So, I spent a few days last week laptop-less and learned a few things from it. 

I ended up using our Kindle fire to check email and Facebook and spent an inordinate amount of time trying to respond to a friend's Facebook question about stevia (you know, that calorie-free green leafy plant that is all the rage as a non-caloric sweetener in crunchy circles) and the Kindle kept changing the word "stevia" to the word "africa".  That's "africa", not even "Africa" I mean, I could NOT type the word "stevia", kindle kept changing it and how they got "africa' from "stevia" I will never know.  Even more mind-boggling is that they spelled "africa" just like that with lower-case a, and while I am not the grammar police, as far as I can tell, the names of continents are proper nouns and should always, always, always be capitalized.   D'oh!  I hereby apologize to all the people I thought were lazy and stupid for not using proper grammar...it was probably just auto-correct.

7.

I replaced my old laptop with a Chromebook.  (yes, that is an affiliate link, so if you click it and buy ANYTHING from Amazon, I get a penny or two...or just click on the link on the side before you shop).   Anyway, so far I really like it and I think the Chromebook is a great inexpensive laptop option for people like me. It doesn't have a CD/DVD drive and you can't download programs on it (like Microsoft Office) but for my purposes, it is just fine and I can use Google Docs to create documents.   I don't download programs or play games anyway and almost everything is online these days. 

Bentrup Babblings

Me:  I can't believe you don't like blueberries, they're so yummy.

John: Mom, let me teach you a lesson.  God made everyone different.

Guess he told me

Greta: (after sleeping in later than normal).  I was having a dream and forgot to wake-up.

Well..that's an interesting excuse...I forgot to wake up.

Me: Greta, do you know what gravity is
Greta: yes, gravity is that thing that keeps you from floating all over the place and if it were't for gravity I would probably be floating over there...no, over there, I'd be floating up there...no, I think I'd be floating up there, no, I'd be floating over there.  Anyway, sometimes, I wish there was no gravity, so that I could fly like a bird.

John: (After taking a teeny, teeny, tiny, tiny scrap of paper out of Elsa's mouth). I saved Elsa's life.

We're just a wee bit dramatic, aren't we?

Yes, her dress is on backwards...it's the new fad, don't ya know?

 Greta: John if you come upstairs with me, I'll play with you tomorrow.
John:  How long?
Greta:  A half-hour
John:  How about one minute extra of a half-hour
Greta: Fine, I'll play with you for 31 minutes.
John: Is that one minute more than a half-hour?
Greta: yes it is. a half-hour is 30 minutes and one minute extra is 31 minutes, so I'll play with you for 31 minutes tomorrow
John: ok, it's a deal
Pint-sized negotiators they are.

Yes, his shirt is on inside out too.  We are just inside-out- backwards people.

Greta: John, let me read you a bible story.  Do you know about the Garden of Eden..
John: No, I don't know about the Garden of Eating. 

So, right now, we have our old TV which actually has a VHS player and we have A TON of old VHS tapes
Greta: (when deciding what movie to watch): I'm just going to watch on the Kindle Fire because it takes SO LONG to rewind those dumb old tapes and I hate waiting for them to rewind.
They make me feel so old.