7 Ways to Make this Lent the Best Ever

So, now that we're a whole 3 days into Lent, I figured I would pass out my -free, I'm not a spiritual expert, I have no qualifications- advice.  Because not being an expert never stopped me from handing out advice before. 

1.

It's not about the sacrifice.  It took me many, many years to learn this, but the point of Lent isn't to give something up just for the sake of giving something up.  Fasting without prayer is just a diet.  There is no point in giving something up, if you don't try to focus on Jesus during that time. The point of penance and sacrifice is to grow closer to God....to eliminate distractions and those things that separate us from God.  The small amount of pain we feel when we make a sacrifice, can help bring us closer to God if we let it.   If we just white-knuckle and suffer through, without actually turning towards prayer, we are just suffering for no reason.

2.

Make it about others.  Lent should be about serving others, not ourselves. It should be about growing closer to our family members and loving them better.  This Lent, no matter your state in life, you should resolve to love those around you better.  Give them more of your time, more of your attention, more of yourself.   Just about everyone could give more of themselves.  Our natural inclination is selfishness.  This Lent, try to root out at least a tiny bit of that selfishness and become a more giving person.

3.

Practice self-donative love.  I love that phrase....self-donative love. I first read it from the Popcaks.  

Self-donative love] is a supremely responsive love, empowering those who practice it to use their bodies, minds, and spirits to respond with justice and compassion to the deepest God-given needs of others.  Self-donation is the kind of love that mirrors the self-gift Jesus Christ gave us, through His Incarnation and through is Passion, Death, and Resurrection. Further, it is the love that lies at the heart of both Catholic social justice and Catholic family life.-  Parenting With Grace, (Dr. Popcak)

So...what is self-donative love?  Self-donative love is when you get out of bed to nurse a crying baby for the umpteenth time.  Self-donative love is when you stay up late to spend time with your husband.  Self-donative love is when you lie down with your toddler at night to help them fall asleep.  Self-donative love is when you read that extra story or play that extra game.  Self-donative love is when you carry your child who just wants to be carried or comfort the child who just wants to be comforted.  Self-donative love is the giving of yourself to another person. 

4.

Do hard things. It's good to do hard things.  Doing hard things is good for you. So find something hard to do and do it,  By doing hard things, we grow in virtue and strength and ability.  So, challenge yourself to do something hard...whether that's running a marathon or crocheting a blanket or teaching fractions or visiting a neighbor, or making amends with someone you've had a falling out with.  Do something hard, and you'll be a better person. 

5

Stop yelling.  This is the hardest thing ever...but it is so, so, so important.  Think long and hard about times when you are most likely to yell and then find alternatives.  There will be mistakes...there will be backslides.  But, yelling is really damaging to family relationships and family relationships are the most important thing. I'm a yeller...I get how hard it is to stop.  It's a long hard process (but remember, it's good to do hard things), but so worth the work involved.  The relationship you have with your spouse and children are the most important relationships...and yelling is damaging.   But, don't yell at yourself if you slip up.  Be gentle with yourself, be gentle with yourself, be gentle with yourself. 

6. 

Go to Confession and take your kids. Go at least once....and maybe twice or even thrice. If you have kids old enough to go, take them too.  

7. 

Make a new friend.  Just about everyone needs a new friend.  This Lent, resolve to be friendly, to make a new friend or revive an old friendship.  So many people are lonely and isolated and just looking for someone to reach out.  So do it...the rewards are great and the risks are few.  Invite someone over, take someone out for coffee or just spend a few minutes chatting after Mass.  You just never know how much one small gesture of kindness could mean to someone else. 

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Linking up with Equipping Catholic Families,  Campfires and Cleats, Truly Rich Mom, A Slice of Smith Life, and Jen for 7 Quick Takes Friday. 

WIWS and the Most Important Catholic Tradition to Teach Your Kids

Happy 4th Sunday of Advent! 

Last Saturday, at  3:45 PM we all piled into the van to drive 15 minutes north of us to attend Confession at the church without the long lines. We were walking into church at 4:05 PM and proceeded to wait and wait and wait until finally at 4:50 P.M. the priest comes out and says he will finish Confessions after 5:00  Mass.  Juuuust before it was going to be our turn.   So much for not having long lines.

Anyway, thanks to the 15-month old terror who was about at her limit, we decided not to stay and opted to try again another time.

Ben was able to go to Confession this past week week before a daily Mass that was near his work, but the older girls and I weren't able to go during the week.  So, last night, before heading to the Little Flowers Christmas Party, I looked up a church on the way, and we headed to confession before heading to the party.

And, it got me thinking about the importance of taking our kids to confession...frequently.  When I was growing up, we went to Confession quite regularly on the first Saturday of the month...every month.   My dad used to call it disk technician for your soul.   This was back in the late 80's/early 90's when we had computers that used to require several hours of some sort of maintenance thing called disk technician. You know, back when computers had those big, black floppy disks.  Anyone else remember that?   Anyway, if we couldn't go on the first Saturday for some reason, then we went on the second.   But, it was always made a priority to go without letting too many weeks pass by.   And, we've tried to do that with our own kids.  Ever since their first Confession, we take them (and go ourselves) about every 4 weeks.  We don't necessarily do the First Saturday thing, we do try to go every 4 weeks, of course, sometimes it ends up being 5 or 6 weeks....but if it's been at least four, we make it a priority to go as soon as we can.

Frequent Confession is so important and Confession can be scary if you haven't been awhile.  Going frequently helps everyone be more comfortable and the graces you get from it are so necessary.  As they say, Confession is good for the soul...and it really IS.

Next to attending Mass on Sundays and Holy Days, frequent Confession is probably the most important habit to instill in your children.  Of course, regular prayer is also very important, but the habit of going to Confession regularly really just is so important.  At least in this house, none of us are saints and we all have at least 1 sin we can confess on any given day (and usually more than one)..so hi ho, hi ho, it's off to Confession we go.

I also just wanted to mention Sunday Mass.  Another habit my parents installed in us, is to take the obligation to attend Mass seriously.   We make a point of always attending, if at all possible ......sometimes we have to go separately due to sick kids, or go to a different church because of a schedule conflict or go on Saturday night because they are forecasting a big snowstorm for Sunday but we make it a priority to attend if at all possible...even if it involves some advance planning or inconvenience or we are traveling.   And that is the GREAT thing about being Catholic.  You can attend Mass at ANY Catholic church.  I think my parents once told me that when you pray in a new church for the first time, you get special graces. So I just wanted to encourage anyone who's traveling this holiday season...use the opportunity to check out a new Catholic church.

And, since it's Sunday, here is what I wore to Mass today (at the same old church we usually attend).

The shirt is stolen from Heidi's closet.  Seriously.  I bought it for her (thrifted) but I love it and am keeping it for myself (don't worry...I gave her one of my shirts in exchange).  You can do that when your 11-year old daughter is as tall as you are.

The skirt is from Shade clothing.  The boots are from Wal-Mart and the belt is probably from high school (not joking!).

Go see FLAP for more Sunday fashion.