Tradition!!
Tradition!!
The holidays are all about traditions, right? We MUST have traditions in order for our children to have a stable, happy childhood. And part of those traditions include things like everyone sitting around in matching, ugly sweaters drinking hot chocolate while decorating a perfect tree.
Right? Right?
Bah Humbug!! Holiday traditions are overrated. Don't get me wrong...it's important to do things together as a family. But, everything doesn't have to be A Tradition. It doesn't have to be that we do the EXACT SAME THING every year so that it becomes A TRADITION.
Trying to create traditions is stressful. It's a lot of pressure to keep up traditions. To do the same things year after year.
We don't have the same resources or time or energy every year...so we can't always do the same things. So, I'm just saying "no" to that pressure.
Which leads me to the big Tradition we DON'T do.
What We Teach Our Kids about Santa Clause: We teach our kids that Santa Claus is real only in the sense that St. Nicholas is real. In that St. Nicholas was a real person who existed many years ago on earth and still exists in heaven.
However, we don't teach our kids that he lives at the North Pole, that he has flying reindeer or elves and that he brings presents on Christmas Eve. Because none of that is true.
What We Teach Our Kids about Santa Clause: We teach our kids that Santa Claus is real only in the sense that St. Nicholas is real. In that St. Nicholas was a real person who existed many years ago on earth and still exists in heaven.
However, we don't teach our kids that he lives at the North Pole, that he has flying reindeer or elves and that he brings presents on Christmas Eve. Because none of that is true.
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Why We Don't Do Santa the American Way: Years ago when Heidi was just a baby, I decided that we weren't going to do Santa Claus.
At that time, I was more concerned with not lying. At that time, I (thankfully) had no clue what life had in store for us.
I did not have a good experience with Santa growing up. I basically never got what I REALLY wanted for Christmas. I was pretty much always disappointed on Christmas morning. I was left wondering why other kids' presents were wrapped or why they got more. It never made sense to me that someone who knew if we were naughty or nice, wasn't able to get me a Cabbage Patch Kid until they became less expensive and went down in price. (Did I just date myself? Yes, I was a child of the Cabbage Patch Era).
Making Christmas lists, but not getting what's on it was not a particularly positive experience. Yet, if I had known who REALLY put the presents there, I would not have been nearly as disappointed. I would have appreciated them more knowing they came from my parents, rather than from Santa Claus. After all, there is no logical reason why someone who can make toys and can fly around the world in a sled would give more/bigger/better toys to certain families.
And now, as a mom, the thought of my kids making Christmas lists and me trying to find everything on it gives me hives. I don't want my kids wishing and hoping for stuff because they're probably not going to get it. Every gift is a gift..something to be appreciated but not something to be expected.
Better that they know that what they do get comes from us, that we give them presents because we love them, but that we can't give them everything they want. Because it's much easier to understand why your parents can't give you a pony or a Cabbage Patch Kid or a Kindle than it is to understand why Santa can't.
Plus the whole naughty/nice thing does not sit well with me. I don't like tying presents to behavior. I'm not a theologian but I'm pretty sure that the Catholic Church does not hold to the teaching that in this life the nice are rewarded while the naughty just get coal. Might be nice if it worked that way....that if all you needed to do to get good things happen is to be good. Unfortunately it doesn't...the rain falls on the just and unjust alike.
So, yes our kids do get presents on Christmas..from us. Not a lot of presents...just a few. I wish I could say that was because we are trying to mindfully be minimalist. But really, it's just out of necessity because we can't afford much.
And yes, they still get these presents as "surprise" on Christmas morning. So they still have that excitement of walkingdownstairs out of the bedroom to find presents in the living room.
A lot of people say they don't do Santa because they want to keep the focus on Christ. That is not a main motivator for me. I mean, of course we want to keep the focus on Christ, but I don't think that celebrating Santa/St. Nicholas necessarily takes the focus off Christ. Although it can.
And yes, they still get these presents as "surprise" on Christmas morning. So they still have that excitement of walking
A lot of people say they don't do Santa because they want to keep the focus on Christ. That is not a main motivator for me. I mean, of course we want to keep the focus on Christ, but I don't think that celebrating Santa/St. Nicholas necessarily takes the focus off Christ. Although it can.
The Whole Lying/Deception Issue: I know, I know...people are all what's the big deal...kids need to have their fantasies, make-believe is important. And, it IS. I totally agree with that. Our kids read fairy tales and fantasy stories. They love Narnia and Tolkien. They've read/seen Harry Potter.
They play make-believe/fantasy stories on their own...they make up plays, they play house.
But (there's always a but) there is a difference between reading a make-believe story or watching a make-believe movie/TV show and parents orchestrating reality to make the fantasy real. Kids are smart enough to figure out what is real and what isn't....except when adults muddy the waters for them. While we have read and enjoyed The Elves and the Shoemaker, I don't tell my kids that their new shoes were put there by elves. My daughter used to enjoy dressing up as Cinderella but I never told her that her dress was made by her Fairy Godmother.
We may read stories about Santa Claus or unicorns or mermaids or fairies or leprechauns but I don't orchestrate things in real life and say that Santa Claus or a unicorn or a leprechaun did it. Or if I do, it's a wink, wink, nod, nod thing.
However, in my experience, when most parents do Santa, it's not wink,wink,nod,nod. It's that they REALLY want their kids to believe it was Santa.
Plus, our family has been on the receiving end of gifts from REAL "Santas". People who have been kind and generous to us and sent us gifts when times were tough. And saying that those gifts were from Santa Claus takes away the chance for us to pray for and feel gratitude towards those real people. So yes, Santa is real in the sense that there are real people who play Santa. And those individuals deserve our prayers and gratitude, and I'm not going to take that away from them.
They play make-believe/fantasy stories on their own...they make up plays, they play house.
But (there's always a but) there is a difference between reading a make-believe story or watching a make-believe movie/TV show and parents orchestrating reality to make the fantasy real. Kids are smart enough to figure out what is real and what isn't....except when adults muddy the waters for them. While we have read and enjoyed The Elves and the Shoemaker, I don't tell my kids that their new shoes were put there by elves. My daughter used to enjoy dressing up as Cinderella but I never told her that her dress was made by her Fairy Godmother.
We may read stories about Santa Claus or unicorns or mermaids or fairies or leprechauns but I don't orchestrate things in real life and say that Santa Claus or a unicorn or a leprechaun did it. Or if I do, it's a wink, wink, nod, nod thing.
However, in my experience, when most parents do Santa, it's not wink,wink,nod,nod. It's that they REALLY want their kids to believe it was Santa.
Plus, our family has been on the receiving end of gifts from REAL "Santas". People who have been kind and generous to us and sent us gifts when times were tough. And saying that those gifts were from Santa Claus takes away the chance for us to pray for and feel gratitude towards those real people. So yes, Santa is real in the sense that there are real people who play Santa. And those individuals deserve our prayers and gratitude, and I'm not going to take that away from them.
A Note on St. Nicholas:
Unlike when I was growing up, we do celebrate St. Nicholas Day. The kids put out their shoes on the night of Dec. 5th and they find candy in them on December 6th. Just candy...sometimes it's chocolate coins and sometimes it's Snickers bars...but it's always just candy. But we don't tell the kids that it's actually St. Nicholas who brings the candy...they know it's us and we do it as a way to celebrate the life of St. Nicholas and how he helped other people.
I do think the Santa Claus thing is a very personal decision. But for our family...I'm so very glad that years ago we decided not to do it. Because I can't even imagine trying to keep up the Santa thing while being in law school or dealing with unemployment/underemployment or other financial burdens. Those things are stressful enough without the added pressure of having to be Santa and keep up Christmas traditions.
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I do think the Santa Claus thing is a very personal decision. But for our family...I'm so very glad that years ago we decided not to do it. Because I can't even imagine trying to keep up the Santa thing while being in law school or dealing with unemployment/underemployment or other financial burdens. Those things are stressful enough without the added pressure of having to be Santa and keep up Christmas traditions.
What are you thoughts on the whole Santa/St. Nicholas thing? How do you do it? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
And, whatever you do, I hope you have a Blessed and Holy Advent!
And, whatever you do, I hope you have a Blessed and Holy Advent!
