How We Homeschool

Michaela at California to Korea and Back is hosting a How We Homeschool Link-up.   I love link-ups and I love homeschooling (okay, okay, I sometimes love homeschooling, I sometimes hate it), so it sounds like the perfect thing for me to participate in.   She's got the questions, I got the answers. 

How long have you been homeschooling?

We're just finishing our 7th year of homeschooling.  Wow..7 years...that almost makes me sound like a veteran or something (I'm not, I still have no idea what I am doing). 

How many kids are in your family? How many are homeschooled? Are any schooled in a more traditional way?  

We have 4 children...ages 12, 9, 6 and 1.  All of the ones old enough to be homeschooled are..which means we are just finishing up 6th, 3rd and Kindy.  None of my children attend or have ever attended a traditional school.  Not to say that they never will, but so far, no one has. 

What laws, if any, are there in your state regarding homeschooling? How does your family meet compliance?

Hmm...well we've homeschooled in 3 different states so far...Rhode Island, Florida and Virginia..  In RI, we only had to send in a letter of intent each year to the local school district.  In Florida, we had to send in a letter of intent each year and do an evaluation from a certified teacher.  That was a pain (mostly because had to pay for the evaluation), but we just picked a homeschool-friendly evaluator and showed her what we did.  The law says you have to 'show progess' so I just gave her all our work and that seemed to show plenty of progress.

In Virginia, you have to send in a letter of intent, list of subjects to teach and then do testing or an evaluation each year. Most people seem to choose testing, but we are doing an evaluation by a Virgina certified teacher.  Since, I just happen to be married to a Virginia certified teacher, I'm pretty sure he'll do the evaluation for free.  I'm not really sure if they'll take an evaluation from a family remember,but since we'll fleeing* the state anyway, I'm not going to worry about it. 

*Don't worry...we're not running from the law or anything.  We're just moving to Indiana, which is a hands-off homeschool state, and I'm pretty sure we don't have to do anything. 

Switching gears here: if you could summarize your homeschool philosophy in one sentence or mission statement, what would that be?

To survive.

No seriously...I don't really follow one philosophy.  I guess my philosophy is to keep my kids close, teach them to be good, moral people, teach them how to learn, teach them to love learning and educate them without making them a slave to grades.

When people ask me why I homeschool, I usually say something like:

Because in all my years of schooling, all I really learned was how to get an A. 

And, it's true. I feel like all I really did learn was how to get an A.  I learned how to take tests, I learned how to make teachers happy, but I never really learned anything.

One of the good things I've seen from homeschooling is that my kids aren't motivated by grades.  One of the bad things I've seen about homeschooling is that my kids aren't motivated by grades.  My kids are definitely not perfectionists, which is both good and bad.

Whenever I worry that my kids aren't learning enough or aren't doing enough I just remember the fact that my husband has taught 8th grade students who are unable to label the United States on a map. No matter how we do, we are doing better than that.

For us, homeschooling is very much a lifestyle choice. I love the freedom it gives us.

Freedom to go on field trips is awesome.
Heidi went with Ben to see him sworn in
at the VA state bar.  She saids she learned that
lawyers have lots of drinking
problems.  Definitely an educational
trips. 

 I love keeping my kids close  (but not too close, don't worry, they do get out and do activities without me).

Plus, I'm terrified of what I would do with a toddler all day, if my big kids went off to school.  Last night Ben took the older three to chess club, and Elsa just followed me around all night, bored and whining.  Drove me crazy.  I shudder at the thought of sending my  big kids off to school all day just at the age when they start to become helpful, pleasant and able to carry on an intelligent conversation.

My kids are learning to be independent learners, independent thinkers and independent doers.  Of course, they could learn all that in a school as well...but it's nice that they can work at their own pace, they have some choice over what they study and for the most part, don't hate school.

What is your homeschooling style?

Mostly classical with a good bit of school at home tendencies.  I tend to be pretty unschooly for any kid under first grade. 

Do you follow any set curriculum?

We sorta follow Mother of Divine Grace,
 but I switch out their math (we use Math Mammoth), their science (we use Apologia) and their reading/phonics for Kindergarten and First Grade.  I don't do their elementary art, because I could never figure it out and we are always losing the art cards.  So, for art, we just do art...like...go draw a picture or something.

However, this coming year, Heidi is going to do online school through Homeschool Connections.

We also do coops quite a bit.  Coops are awesome..it's like a tiny taste of school without having to send your kids to school all day, every day.  We've done coops in RI, FL and VA and each one has been different, but a wonderful experience.  

What do your best homeschooling moments look like?  What do your not-so-good moments look like?  How do you stay on track?

The best moments are when I'm relaxed and calm and patient.

The worst moments are when I'm impatient and yell too much. Last Monday was a very, very, very bad day.

Thankfully, the rest of the week was much smoother and calmer.  On Wednesday, we even managed to finish ALL our school by noon and then eat lunch and meet a friend at the beach in the afternoon.  Those are the best days.

To be fair, my kids are really good, and almost never fight me about doing school.  Sometimes they don't always do their best work, and we've had more than  few occasions where their work did not meet my expectations, but generally they are really good about doing it. .

The number one way I keep on track is to discipline myself to do NOTHING but school.  To do NOTHING but be present and available to help them with school.  That is HARD for me.  I like to multi-task.  But, I've come to realize that I can't try to accomplish anything else while doing school....no paying bills, no blogging, no emailing, no scheduling, no cooking, no cleaning.  One of the reasons that Monday was such a bad day is that we had just gotten back from being out of town at a wedding and I was trying to do ALL THE THINGS while also trying to do school.  NOT GOOD.  

How do you keep any non-school-aged kids busy?

Good question...I wish I had a good answer.  For Elsa (my only non-school aged kid), the #1 thing is to make sure she is well rested and gets plenty of sleep.  This is a challenge since sleeping is not exactly her forte, but making sure she gets enough sleep helps a lot.  She also has (in my humble opinion) pretty amazing fine motor skills for a 1-year old, and will happy draw or write on the floor while everyone else is doing school.  So paper and crayons can keep her occupied for sometime.  Sometimes she just plays independently by us.

She also loves books, so sometimes spending just 10 minutes with her reading a story or looking at a book "fills her cup" enough that she will then go play independently for 30 minutes.

Sometimes she is pain though...and is climbing in my lap and pulling on our books and screeching.  When she does that, I usually ask Heidi or Greta to take a break from school and take her outside or in their rooms or someplace else so I can finish working with whomever I was working with. 

If you could give any homeschool advice to a new mom starting out, what would it be?

Relax!  You don't have to teach ALL THE THINGS, ALL THE TIME.  And don't worry if your kid doesn't get reading or addition or multiplication or long division right away.  They WILL get it eventually.  I think my biggest stress is because I want my kids to get something IMMEDIATELY and I don't have the patience to let them learn it at their own pace.  If given the chance, most kids will learn what they need to know in their own time. And most curriculum go over everything over and over and over again.  Of course you do have to be aware of the possibilities of learning disorders or things like that, but just because your kid can't read fluently at age 5 is no reason to freak out.  They will likely get it at age 6 or 7 or 8.

And don't worry too much about things like science or history or whatever in the early grades.

Don't forget field trips. 

 They are good to do but your kid doesn't need to learn all the science things in 2nd grade.  And, if they don't *get* nouns in 3rd grade, they will have another chance to learn then in 4th and 5th and 6th.

My next bit of advice is to find a good support group or group of friends and get involved. It's worth the drive, it's worth the hassle, it's just worth it.  In order to make friends (for both you and your kids) you really do have to put yourself out there.  You have to attend the park days or events consistently, you have to make contact with people (email makes it super easy).  However, it's definitely worth it.  You NEED friends and your kids do too!  So, go out there....attend events....find someone you and your kids "click" with and then email them and make plans to get together again. It's so worth the hassle involved. 

I hate Jello!

Linking up with Kendra for some Sunday Questions and Fine Linen and Purple for What I Wore Sunday

1. Do you have a land line?

No we do not have a land line.  And we only have cheap, pay-as-you-go cell phones.  We have three of them...one for Ben, one for me and one for Heidi since she is now old enough to stay home alone.  She is only allowed to use it to call us, if she is home alone...she doesn't use it to talk to her friends or anything.

This works for us, because we don't talk on the phone much and don't text much.   Since we just have tracfones, I generally prefer to use email as our mode of communication   With this method, we probably spend about $30-40/month total, which is pretty good for phone usage. 


2. What is your least favorite food?

Jello.  I hate jello.  I abhor jello.  I detest it with the hatred of a thousand suns (or something like that). 

Patriotic but disgusting. 

I'm so glad I didn't live in the 50's and 60's when there was a plethora of disgusting jello recipes out there.  Can there be anything more vile than Tuna and Jello Pie?


3. What's on your summer reading list?

My mom gave me this book to read. It looks fairly interesting and I love dogs...so...read it, I will.

I'm also reading this book.  Everyone loves some John Grisham, right?

And, I was contacted by the author of this book, so I'm going to be reading that and writing about it. It looks really interesting.

4. Is there something that people consistently ask for your advice on? What is it?

Yes, I am a La Leche League Leader, so people consistently ask me about breastfeeding.   A lot of people ask me about NFP as well, even though I am not an NFP instructor or anything.  Not sure why everyone asks me about that, but they do. Plus, people seem to ask me about home remedies and natural supplements a lot...well I did write this website after all. I'm definitely not a doctor and not really qualified to talk about anything other than my own personal experience..but I am a big fan of natural medicine. I also get a lot of questions about gluten-free cooking and baking. 

5. What's the most physically demanding thing you've ever done?

That would probably be the 1000 moves we've done since we got married, where we pretty much move everything ourselves. Which means lots of loading and unloading and carrying of furniture and boxes and bricks.  Yes, bricks.  When we first got married, our bookshelf consisted of a bunch of bricks on wooden boards. 
Like this one here.   Classy, no?  And we moved those bricks three times.  Yikes

And, we're about to do it again...less than two weeks!  Although we no longer have any bricks..but yes, we do it ourselves. Why pay for a gym membership and movers when you can just do the work yourself and get a great workout that way?

6. How do you feel about massages?

Not a big fan of them.  I've never had a professional one, and I don't really want to.  I'm too much of a private person for something like that, I think. 

Happy Pentecost Sunday!

In honor of Pentecost...Elsa and I wore red today.

I just love her little pigtails...they are so adorable.   

Anxiety, Fear and Online Community.

I recently came across this article on Facebook.

The Day I Left My Son in the Car

It's the story of a mom who left her 4-year old son in the car for 5 minutes and ended up dealing with the police and criminal charges and CPS.  What a mess!

The article talks a lot about how parents' perception of risk has really changed. How just a generation ago, people routinely left their kids in cars and no one batted an eye.  Now, it is considered criminal.   I mean, if you really think about it...a child is infinitely safer strapped in a car seat in a car parked in a safe location (assuming it's not a hot day of course) then they are they are sitting in that very same car while it's moving, or even walking across a parking lot. But yet, no one blinks at eye at driving kids here and there and everywhere or having them walk across crowded parking lots, but heaven forbid someone leaves them in a locked car (on a not-hot day) for 5 minutes to run into a store. 

The article raises this question. 

But what I always find lacking in these warnings is some explanation, not only of how expectations have shifted so radically for parents, but of why they have shifted. The tip-of-the-tongue answer is often that the world is a more dangerous place than it was a generation ago. But it doesn’t take much research to debunk this myth and find that nationally, violent crime rates are lower than they were in the ’70s and ’80s. So how do we explain that activities that once seemed harmless — letting a kid play at the park without supervision or sitting in a car for a few minutes — have now become not only socially taboo but grounds for prosecution?

A friend and former classmate of mine, Julia Fierro, spent so much time thinking about these questions of parental anxiety, she ended up writing a novel on the subject. When I asked her what answers she came up with, she wonders if everyone doesn’t have “too much information — parenting books, birthing classes, a gazillion blogs and parenting sites and magazines, and anonymous online sites where parents are very judgmental, even when trying to help or give advice. I think all that info, all the conflicting extreme philosophies of parenting (attachment parenting vs. cry-it-out and few moderate philosophies being promoted) makes us not trust ourselves. Also, most of us who are ambitious young professionals move far from our families and so have little support or solid community.”

I think the Internet and our online communities are to blame in a big, big way because that is what is giving us "too much information."  A generation ago, most people's circle of contact was way, way,way smaller.  They had their family, they had their neighbors, coworkers, friends from school.   Now, we know all those people, plus the thousands of people we know through the Internet...the people whose blogs we read, or whose stories/articles get shared on Facebook.  The people who belong to the same message boards or Facebook groups.

Way back in 2001/2002 when I was pregnant with my first, I was not all that into the Internet.  We still had dial-up, we didn't use it all that much, I had to share the computer with my husband.  I was on the Internet so much less, and I was so much less anxious for it.  I didn't read message boards or belong to Facebook (it wasn't even invented yet) so I didn't know about ALL THE BAD THINGS that could go wrong. I wasn't constantly bombarded with stories of tragedy. Sometime in the months after she was born, I started to spend a lot more time online.  I discovered message boards and Internet groups.  And as I "met" more people online, my anxiety increased.  By the time I was pregnant with my second, I was a lot more anxious.  I read stories of ALL THE TERRIBLE THINGS, and I had myself convinced that A TERRIBLE THING was going to happen to me.

Thanks to the Internet, I know (of) people who have been affected by cancer, stillbirth, murder, SIDS, rare diseases, genetic abnormalities, seizures, tragic accidents, drowning, car accidents,  CPS involvement, false accusations...the list goes on and on.  Thanks to the Internet, I have read stories of babies who died from rolling off a bed into a pile of laundry, or babies that died of SIDS, or mothers diagnosed with cancer, or husbands/fathers who were murdered or children who drowned in a creek, or a toddler strangling in window blinds or kidnapped 12- year olds.   In real life...I don't know that many people who have experienced a terrible tragedy like that (just a few), but online, online...there are so, so many.  Prayer requests always coming through....via facebook, on blogs, message boards.

When I was pregnant with my last two children, I was an absolute nervous wreck before the 20-week ultrasound.  A nervous wreck.  What should have been a happy time, was a time filled with anxiety and fear.  I was convinced that something would be wrong. Absolutely convinced.  Reading all the stories online about all the adverse prenatal diagnosis had me just about convinced that I would be dealing with the same.  Convinced.  I was actually shocked when everything was fine and the technician said we had a healthy baby.  Shocked that everything was normal. How sad. 

Online community is a wonderful thing. I really do love it.  I have met so many wonderful people through blogs and message boards.  So many, many wonderful people.  I love reading about other's lives.  I love sharing prayer requests. I love the fact that so many wonderful people have prayed for us.  Online community is a huge, huge, blessing.

But it has a dark side, at least for me.  All these prayer requests and stories and articles and caring bridge pages create anxiety..  I love to pray for others, but for my own sake...I really should not be reading about every rare disease, every tragic accident, every cancer diagnosis, every shooting, every false accusation with CPS, every toddler drowning, every kid who fell asleep and never woke up.  Thanks to the Internet, I know what SUDC is (sudden unexplained death in children)....and it's just one more thing to worry about that I really should not worry about.

You know how teens have the it can't happen to me, I'm invincible mentality...well I'm the opposite.  I have the all the terrible things are definitely going to happen to me mentality.  Maybe it's my melancholic personality.

And, I think that is a large part of where the hysterical paranoia parenting comes in.  When Heidi was a newborn I remember reading a story of a car that was stolen in a Wal-Mart parking lot in Texas with a newborn baby in it (the baby was later found, unharmed).  The mother had just gone to return a shopping cart.  For the longest time after that, I was afraid to leave my baby in the car to return a shopping cart. Which is crazy....because the chances of someone stealing a car in that amount of time is so, so, so, so small, it's not even worth worrying about. And, the chances of someone stealing *my* car (which is basically junk) is even less. I've actually seen entire online debates where mothers ponder how they should return shopping carts.  It's sad, really.  Just return the thing.

Some of the spreading awareness is good.  Because I am aware of the dangers of window blinds, I can keep long cords  out of reach.  Because I am aware of the danger of backing over kids with my big van, I always do a quick head count (making sure everyone who is supposed to be in the van is in it and everyone who's not is well out of the way, before backing up).  

But, is it necessarily good for everyone to be aware of every single tragedy that happens?  I've heard people say things like "Well, we don't want to have anymore children, because we don't want to push our luck" (meaning they've already had their healthy 1 or 2 or 3 children and don't want to risk a child with special needs). First the chances that everything would be "fine" are still fairly high.  And,what if it's not? That is where reading these stories of people who had difficulty can be a GOOD thing. Because, they can inspire us to take a chance, to take a breath and realize that even if everything isn't fine, that we will survive.  That life will go on. That we may even come out a better person. 

Furthermore..these are real stories of real people suffering. And, I do believe that they need our support.   I want to offer my support and prayers, which is the least I can do. And, I want to read their stories because some of them are pretty amazing and inspirational.

And, in many ways I do benefit from it.  Reading about ALL THE TERRIBLE THINGS and how other people face them, gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, I could maybe survive A TERRIBLE THING. 

So, what's the solution? The solution is not to hide from the tragic stories, but to put them in perspective. We need to rethink how we think about risk.  And, we need to realize that even if THE WORST happens, we will survive, because that is what people do..they survive (unless they don't and then hopefully they go to heaven, so it's all good anyway).  Really, when I really think about, the only thing we should be really be scared of is sin.  Not tragedy or disease or death, but sin...because the only real tragedy in life, is dying and not making it to heaven. (Now, if I could just get myself to believe that!).

(Linking up with The Fike Life for One Hot Mess, because I usually turn myself into a hot mess when I read about ALL THE TERRIBLE THINGS).  

Five Easy, Peasy, Super Yummy Recipes for Summer

I've spent many a summer living without THE GREATEST INVENTION EVER (a.k.a central air conditioning).    It's horrific, I know.  But, some of those crazy people in the North still think you don't need it and we're about to move to a place that doesn't have it (gasp of horror here), so I'm sure I will be making use of these recipes quite often. 

1. 

One Ingredient Banana Ice Cream

Does your grocery story offer reduced sale bananas that are are starting to turn brown?  If so, snatch those babies up.  Snatch them ALLLLLLL up.   When you get home, peel them, cut them into pieces, stick them in freezer bags and pop them in the freezer.

Then, when you want a sweet treat, just throw some frozen banana in your food processor and blend, blend, blend until it turns into wonderful delicious, smooth and creamy ice cream.  Try it.  It really does work and you don't need ANY other ingredients.  I've always said that a banana is nature's perfect food and this just proves it.   If you wish, you can add a bit of vanilla, but it's not necessary.   if you want to experiment, you can make chocolate by adding cocoa powder, peanut butter by adding peanut butter or strawberry by adding jam.  I've even heard of people adding Nutella.  If you add cocoa powder, I would add just a tad of a sweetener (honey or sugar or maple syrup).  Either way, it's all delicious.  My favorite is to add cocoa powder, peanut butter and just a tad of honey.  A most delicious way to get your bananas in and all you need are frozen bananas and a food processor. 

2

Smoothies

Everyone already knows about smoothies, so I don't really have to give you a recipe.  You basically just throw some yogurt or milk in with some frozen fruit and whatever else you want to throw into your blender or food processor.  Peanut butter, coconut oil, flax seed, spinach, kale...the possibilities are endless.  My favorite is to throw in an entire lime (peel and all)...gives a delicious tropical taste and all that vitamin C is so good for you.   Plus, the green of the lime disguises the green of the any veggies you throw in. 

3.

Scrambled Egg Muffins. 

These are perfect when it's too hot to stand over a stove and cook eggs.  Or, if you just want something that is do-ahead, quick and easy...make a whole batch ahead of time and eat them for a quick breakfast on the go.

I love this recipe.

4.

Cold Roasted Chicken

I know what you are thinking....roast a chicken in the summer??  Hear me out.

The great thing about roasting a chicken is that you can roast it slow and low, or quick and hot. 

Just take a whole chicken, sprinkle with salt, pepper and paprika.  And then roast in the oven at either 300 degrees for about 4 hours or 400 degrees for about 2 hours.  Do this when you AREN'T home or will be outside (so you don't heat up the kitchen with you in it.  It will be okay...I'm always leaving the house with roasting chickens in the oven and I haven't burned anything down....yet.   However, if you do this and burn your house down, I take no legal responsibility and can not be held liable.
.
When the chicken is done, pull it out, let it cool, pull all the meat off and and use that meat to make cold chicken salad, or chicken tacos or just eat it plain.

Chicken salad is my favorite.  I just throw some cut up chicken over any green salad, and in the summer we eat green salad in spades thanks to these grow boxes.

Then take the carcass and throw it in the crockpot, cover with water, add some salt and cook on low overnight.  The crockpot doesn't heat up the kitchen and you will have super healthy and nutritious bone broth in the morning to use for soups, or just to drink.

5.

Cold Pasta Salad

Another refreshingly cool, delicious meal for summer.  Cook the pasta ahead of time, drain and then run under cold water to cool off.  Toss with whatever assortment of veggies, meat and cheese you like.  I'm a huge fan of mozzarella cheese balls, cut salami, broccoli, carrots, zucchini , slivered almonds and spinach.  Toss the whole thing with some olive oil mixed with a bit of red wine vinegar, fresh basil, oregano, chopped garlic and a bit of Parmesan cheese.  The possibilities are endless...just throw whatever you want in there.  We always use gluten-free pasta because that's what we do around here, but you can do yours however you like.

I hope you enjoy these recipes...I know I do!

(Linking up for Five Favorites)