Merry Christmas 2020

Well, it is that time of year again!  The time when we wish you Christmas Greetings, Yuletide Cheer, and Best Wishes for the Next Year.  

It is also the time when we catch you up with all the family tales and doings. 

Except that this year we apparently weren't really supposed to be doing anything other than staying home and zooming, which although zooming sounds like it would be a fun physical activity, it actually is rather sedentary and horrid. 

This meme pretty much sums up how crazy this world has gotten. 

Let me reassure you, that we are most definitely NOT smoking weed, nor anything else.  The family gathering part...I neither confirm nor deny. 

Nonetheless, despite COVID, life goes on, and we tried to make it go on as well as possible while staying mentally and physically healthy. 

We did go on a lot of hikes this year, including one memorable time when certain family members who shall remain nameless fell into the river while trying to cross over on a log.  Then there was that other time when we narrowly escaped certain death when we barely missed (okay missed by like 50 yards) a giant tree falling right across the path in front of us on an extraordinarily windy day.  We all learned that if a tree falls in a forest, and someone is around to hear it, it makes a LOUD sound.

In other news this year....

Heidi graduated from high school in a rather unceremonious virtual celebration.  And I have decided that the words "virtual" and "celebration" should not be juxtaposed. 

Not to brag or anything, (okay....braggadocio on) but she graduated with a 3.8 GPA and was the sole Academic All-Star Nominee for her school.  She had been planning to attend college in the fall, but crazy covid conundrums prompted an 11th-hour college withdrawal, and we feel very blessed that she is now planning to matriculate at the Franciscan University of Steubenville beginning in January where she will study communications.  In the meantime, she kept busy with a nanny job over the summer, then a brief stint working at a local Amish grocery store, and then another nanny job staying with family out of state in PA. 

This year she turned 18, voted for the first time, and is basically just learning all about adulting as well as continuing to write and is almost finished with her 2nd novel.  Yes, two novels and barely out of high school!

Greta turned 16 and is a sophomore.  Not driving yet, but Mom is working up the courage to have her start driver's ed.   More gray hairs coming soon to a mom's head near you. She still has PTSD from teaching Heidi to drive (no offense to Heidi).  In the meantime, Greta is keeping busy with schoolwork and is fortunate to still be able to participate in things like American Heritage Girls, horseback riding lessons, volunteer work, youth group, and getting together a small group of friends to perform a short play about Esther (from the Bible), that she wrote. She still enjoys letting the creative juices flow while writing stories and this summer she took the initiative to study Italian and learned quite a bit. Buona Giornorta! 

John turned 12 this year.  He continues to enjoy playing chess (unfortunately, only virtually for most of this year).  He also earned his blue belt in Tae Kwan Do, so we feel pretty protected around here.  He knows all about weapons and things of that sort.  John is a high-achiever at school and pretty much a math whiz and always gets everything right.  It's kinda annoying, to be honest.  Just kidding, we love John!

Elsa is 8 and learned to both read and ride a bike this year.  She is very fortunate to be taking in-person ballet classes this fall and each class is the highlight of her week.  She is also a member of American Heritage Girls.  Drawing and art are two of her passions and she fills many pages with beautiful drawings each day. Recently, she learned the fine art of joke-telling, so frequently regales us with mirth and laughter. 

Some of her favorite jokes are:

Why are sheep so annoying?

Because they are baaaaaad.

What does the ocean say?

Nothing, it just waves.

Why can't Elsa from Frozen fly a kite?

Because she will "Let it Go!"

Annika is 4 and desperately awaiting her 5th birthday when she will be able to do activities like American Heritage Girls and ballet.  In the meantime, she and Elsa are BFFs, and Annika loves dancing, dolls, dress-up, and drawing.  Oh, the drawing, these girls do!!  Between her and Elsa, we are probably single-handedly destroying a forest somewhere. Just kidding, they only draw on recycled, sustainable, fair-trade paper, hand-harvested by little elves from the magical regenerating forests of Nepal.  Ahem.

In July, we sadly and suddenly lost one of our rabbits, Lilly. RIP, Lilly.  Never fear, our menagerie is still going strong because, in August, we added in Moosie.   So, in case you lost track, we have 2 cats, 2 dogs, and 2 rabbits.   A very balanced and symmetrical fur family if I do say so myself.

Amelia celebrated her 29th birthday for the 14th time this year. This year she became an expert at stocking up on toilet paper when it can be found for decent prices.  Don't hate me, but with 5 females living in one house...well, we girls need our toilet paper.  Those little 4 packs don't even last a week around here.  

She is also single-handedly keeping the vitamin companies in stock by building up a stash of anti-covid supplements, such as Vitamin D, Vitamin C, quercetin, garlic, zinc, and multi-vitamins.  Also stockpiling more to send with Heidi to college, which she will probably not take, but a Mom can hope!  Heidi, take your vitamins!

PSA:  PLEASE take your Vitamin D.  And lots of it!  Did you know that 80% of all COVID patients are Vitamin D deficient?    And, you can't get Vitamin D from the sun in the winter if you live in a Northern climate.  And, sunscreen blocks Vitamin D.  So, go get your levels checked or at least take Vitamin D3.  It's cheap, easily available, and so important. (Legal Disclaimer:  I'm not a doctor and the above statement is not medical advice, nor constitutes the practice of medicine.  But you should still listen to it, because....science!)

Amelia continues to homeschool, work for Raterlabs, and occasionally helps moms as a La Leche League Leader.  Not to mention caring for the pets and the kids.  Notice how she mentioned the pets before the kids.  Never fear, dear children, she loves you more than the pets, except when they behave better, that is.  Also, occasionally sweeping, never dusting, but always there is laundry. 

She also really enjoys taking horseback riding lessons with Greta (nice mother-daughter activity) and power walking away her stress and anxiety while pounding the pavement and putting the miles on her sneaks.

Ben continues to work as an attorney at Beers Mallers, practicing mainly in municipal law.  With all that is going on in the world, his services have been highly in demand as there has been lots of governmenting going on. Too much governmenting if you ask me, but no one asked me. Too bad!   In his free time, Ben still plays online chess and occasionally joins Amelia on walks.

In August, we were very happy to welcome a brother-in-law to the family and celebrated the nuptials of Kay-Marie (Amelia's sister) and Shannon. Although their wedding was a bit different due to COVID, it was a very happy and joyous celebration!

Speaking of marriage, Amelia and Ben will celebrate 20 years of matrimony this December.  20 years!  I can't say it's always been wedded bliss, there have plenty of ups and downs, but mostly we still like each other, so it's all good.  

Truth!

We wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!  We hope you are all healthy and happy and well and have abundant blessings in 2021.  We miss our friends and family that are far away and love you all!  

Love,

The Bentrups (Take note, I did not put any wayward apostrophes in there! Do I get a gold star?)

Merry Christmas - 2019

A long, long time ago, in a far-off city, a young couple gave birth to a lovely baby girl. 

The father's alma-mater sent a congratulatory gift:

Transylvania University Class of 2024 is what the gift read. 

It was so long ago, the mother doesn't even remember what the gift was, a small hat or bib or certificate perhaps?

At that time, 2020, the year, the baby would be entering college seemed so long ago.   Now that baby girl is deciding from which school she wants to graduate in the class of 2024.   

Sorry, Transy, but you are not one of the colleges on the list.

However, other colleges have been sending acceptance letters and scholarship offers.  2020 will bring THE COLLEGE DECISION.  She has less than two months left of childhood as in February she turns 18 and will no doubt be thrilled to vote for the first time in the 2020 Presidential election. No doubt it will be a drama-filled one.

In April, Heidi got her license.  

In October, she got in her first car crash.   No one was hurt, and hopefully, it will be smooth driving from here on out. 

Heidi loves to write and is planning on studying Journalism and Communications.  She just self-published her first book under the pen name Angela Hartman.  Send her $15, and you too can have a copy of this young writer's first novel.  And stay tuned for Part II. 

She continues to be active in youth groups, service clubs and working at her daddy's law firm.  Yes, nepotism is alive and well, especially in small-town Indiana.  And of course, she is getting almost all A's in school.  She IS her mother's daughter after all.  In fact, her online public school has offered her an Academic All-Star Nomination.

Greta is 15.  

She just started high school, so we still have a couple years with her before she flies the nest.  She is doing well in her classes and finished out the semester with mostly A's.  

She is active in American Heritage Girls and other service groups.  

Taking after her mother, she loves animals, especially horses.  She has been taking horseback riding lessons and is looking forward to turning 16 when she can volunteer at the local humane society. 

Greta also loves to write and is determined to self-publish her first novel by next Christmas.  Stay tuned.

Cake decorating is another one of this girl's many hobbies!  She may start taking orders soon, so contact her if you need a cake for an upcoming occasion. 

This fall, she, along with Heidi, has been helping teach a local chess club at an elementary school  While they aren't active in chess tournaments anymore, they still know how to play, and the chess kids all love them both. 

This past summer, Greta took part in a local pageant (yes, a pageant!) and won The Rose Award, which goes to the contestant with the most volunteer work. 

John is 11 and in 6th grade. 

Watch out everyone, he started Tae Kwan Do back in February and now has his green belt. His favorite activities are weapons and sparring.   Don't mess with him in a dark alley. 

He also continues to play chess and attends a weekly chess club with Dad.

John also wins the award for "most likely to get the family ice cream."  No, he doesn't buy it himself, he just earns As.  The Bentrup family has a tradition that every time someone earns an A on a test or difficult assignment/project the entire family gets ice cream.  Mom is re-thinking that tradition because with three smart kids....well that ends up being very frequent ice cream. 

Sweet little Elsa is 7.  

This year, ballet/dance class is the highlight of her week and she also loves her American Heritage Girls Troop. 

She is learning to read and moving through the paper in our house at a rather alarming rate as she colors and draws multiple pictures each day.  

She enjoys her homeschool co-op classes and playing with her friends, especially during her Little Flowers meetings. 

Elsa's future career aspirations involve being a princess. 

Annika is 3 and Elsa's partner in crime.   

The two of them are inseparable BFF and spend hours together each day playing dolls and dress-up and pretend and tea parties and princesses.  All the things that girly girls love to do.

Annika also loves to dance and draw, and while she isn't officially doing school, she is picking up A LOT just from watching and being with Elsa and can identify most letters and numbers.  

Annika's future career aspirations involve being Queen of the World.  When you are the baby of the family, you tend to think the whole world must cater to your every wish.  Oftentimes, it does.

Amelia is 42, and this year became one step closer to her life-long goal of becoming That Crazy Animal lady.   Our household's mangy menagerie now includes two dogs, two rabbits, and two cats. Just after Thanksgiving, we added Rocky, the tiger-striped kitten to our asylum.  All we need now are two horses and two goats to round things out.  Anyone want to donate some farm animals.....and their care and feeding too, of course? [She's just kidding. - Ben] [No-she's not. -Amelia]

Charlie-Holland Lop, George-lab/corgi ix, Zorro-cat, Lily-rabbit,  Gussy-stuffed chimp, Rocky-kitten, Benji-maltipoo

Amelia continues to homeschool and continues to work at home at RaterLabs.  (yes, that is a referral link.  If anyone wants a very flexible, WAH job, click the link to learn more) and continues to be an LLL Leader.  Yes, she is busy and stressed and tired.  Such is life with a busy family and lots of mouths (both human and animal) to feed.   

She also took up horse-back riding again (after a 20-year hiatus) and has been taking lessons with Greta.  It's nice mother-daughter bonding time, and Amelia realizes that she is only a little bit stiffer and sorer and not as flexible as she was when she was 20.  Just a teensy-tiny bit. 

Ben is also 42 and continues to work at Beers Mallers.  He still works in municipal law writing ordinances and codes and all sorts of boring things like that.   

Just a side note, if you ever find yourself in Wolcottville, IN, don't be obstreperous on the sidewalk.  If you are, you will be breaking a town ordinance, and, well, we wouldn't want that to happen, now would we?  [ I didn't actually write that one. - Ben]

Ben and John are the chess players of the family and attend a weekly chess club together.   They must share those male genes for playing games and dominating their opponents.  Or something like that. 

Well, that's enough braggy news for now.  In non-braggy news, our house is a money pit that is constantly needing repairs, mostly of the plumbing variety.  Why it is always the plumbing? We're just hoping that 2020 doesn't bring the roof falling or the heat going out or some such other disaster. 

We hope this letter finds everyone well and healthy and happy.  We miss our family and friends that are far away and we pray everyone has a blessed and peaceful Christmas and New Year!

Love,

The Bentrups

Merry Christmas Poem

Hello friends, it’s that time of year

Where we write to spread a little cheer

Hope you have had some good laughs

After taking the yearly photographs

Instead of writing a Christmas letter

I thought a little rhyme was better

We hope your year was full of joy

And you remember Mary’s little boy

This year our household grew by three

Of the four-legged variety

Poor Ben has become resigned

To the zoo, he's been assigned

In February, we adopted another canine

Benji chases around our favorite feline

He is so fluffy and bright

And, his hair is black and white

After taking him to the fair

Benji enamored the judges there

They fell for his adorable self

Giving us a blue ribbon for the shelf

At the fair, we saw the bunnies

They were so cute, such honeys

We decided our three-seasons room

Would make a perfect bunny room

First came Charlie, then came Stella

Fortunately, she likes the other fella.

Now, our bunnies play all day

And mom doesn't worry about the hay

Ben works hard at his lawyer job

Fortunately, not working for the mob

He works in municipal law

Writing codes for the bourgeois

He still plays chess a bit

All opponents he must outwit

Chess Club is a highlight each week

Hoping to continue to a winning streak

Amelia takes care of the crew

Homeschooling, cooking, cleaning our zoo

With five good kids, five fun-loving pets

She still has no regrets

Working for the business, Raterlabs

A second income, Amelia grabs

It helps pay off a bill

For the house on the hill

Heidi reached her sweet sixteen

And now is in the working scene

She also learned to drive

Let’s all pray she stays alive

She earns all A’s in school

Her hard work makes her no fool

For media club, she loves to write

Her essays have some good insight

Greta is made of sugar and spice

She reached fourteen without vice

Still writes many enjoyable tales

Bringing joy for her never fails

She does lots of good, kind deeds

With American Heritage Girls, she proceeds

She started a Little Flowers society

For Elsa and her friends to learn piety

John is ten, he’s a scream

He played soccer with his team

Although they lost every game

They had fun, just the same

Like his dad, the son is good at chess

Although his handwriting is a mess

His math skills are above and beyond

Of comic books, he is more than fond

Elsa is six and very sweet

Learning to read is quite a treat

She loves to play pretend

And enjoys making friends

She joined American Heritage Girls

Whose deeds are like little pearls

Elsa loves her co-op classes

She is a great sister to the lasses

Annika has reached the troublesome twos

Princess dresses are all she’ll ever choose

Although she is quite precocious

Sometimes her behavior is atrocious

She loves to talk and sing and dance

Bye-bye diapers, hello underpants

This was her greatest accomplishment so far

At using the potty, she became quite the star

We hope you enjoyed our poetic attempt

Perhaps next year, we’ll be more adept

Time is running out; better say adieu

Merry Christmas from the Bentrup crew

Charlie is the black Holland Lop and Stella is the Agouti Rex

Beniji is an adorable maltipoo (maltese/poodle cross). 

Why I Used Cloth Diapers and Why I Ditched Them (The Pros and Cons of Cloth Diapers)

When Heidi was a baby, I was determined to be all crunchy-granola type mom.  I do extended breastfeeding, make my own baby food, avoid unnecessary medications, natural remedies, natural childbirth, baby wearing...the whole she-bang.  Part of that is cloth diapers, of course. Except when Heidi was a baby, we lived in a apartment and didn't have a washer/dryer, so I didn't use cloth at first.  However, when we moved into our own house with a washer/dryer when she was around 20 months, I eagerly invested in cloth diapers and used them ever since. Until I stopped.

I used them because they were cheaper, cuter, environmentally friendly and more natural. I even belonged to this whole cloth diapering playgroup.  Why there was a whole playgroup centered around cloth diapers, I will never know.  But, I did meet some nice moms through it. 

And I kept using them through the rest of the kids. Until I stopped recently after using them for several months with Annika.  Here's why. 

First the pros:

Cloth is cheaper:  Cloth diapers can definitely save money, especially if you use them for more than one child and pass them down.

Cloth is more natural:  I mean, I'm not really sure what is inside disposable diapers, but whatever it is it is not natural because it can hold a ton of pee and not smell and still keep the baby dry. That's gotta be some weird chemical stuff. 

Cloth is cuter: Honestly, I think this is what draws a lot of people towards cloth.  Cloth diapers come in all sorts of cute patterns and colors.  Mommy likes to place dress-up with the baby. 

Cloth is better for the environment: Probably anyway.  They say disposable diapers end up in the landfill for like a gazillion years.  So even with the extra washing and energy, it still probably comes out ahead of disposable diapers. 

Now the cons:

Cloth is more work:  And, I don't just mean the work of washing diapers.  Although there is that.  But the work of changing diapers.  Cloth diapers need to be changed VERY frequently. As in as soon as the baby pees in it one time.  For some babies (like mine) that could be just about every 30 minutes.  Two hours is probably the maximum. This can be rather annoying, especially when you are out and about.   And forget about overnight.  You have to put SO MUCH CLOTH on a baby to last overnight (especially if the baby is nursing all night).  SO MUCH.  As in the diaper ends up being SUPER THICK and probably uncomfortable. I gave up night-time cloth diapers very quickly.  For years, I had a happy compromise of using cloth during the day and disposables at night and when out of the house. I did that for most of my kids. 

Even still, I would say that I would change on average 10-12 cloth diapers a day as opposed to 5-6 disposable diapers.  So that's about double the number of diaper changes.  

Cloth leaks: I've never had a disposable diaper leak pee.  I have had a few blow-outs in disposable diapers, but never really had one leak pee.  Cloth diapers on the other hand leak frequently.  And since my babies basically nurse all day long, they also pee all day long, which means each day usually involved at least 1 outfit change due to diaper leaks because I would forget and go longer than 60-90 minutes in between changes.  Sometimes I would change 2-3 diapers an hour.

Cloth stinks: When I used cloth, I had enough diapers to last several days between washing.  I could easily go 4-5 days...that's how large my stash was.  However, that also meant that the dirty diapers were sitting around for several days in the diaper pail.  It just didn't smell good.  It wasn't that there was anything wrong with my diapers.just that any pee-soaked cloth is going to stink after a day or so, especially when you are talking about an older baby.

Cloth is more complicated:  This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it is a factor. There are many different types and styles of cloth diapers and different people have different preferences.   Sometimes it can take a bit of experimenting to see what you like.  Plus, different types of inserts/diapers go with different covers/pockets.  Over the years I had accumulated quite a large stash (mostly given to me by other cloth diaper drop-outs).  It was all fine when I was changing the baby because I knew what goes with what, but if someone less familiar tried to change the baby.  Well, let's just say there were a few times the baby was dressed in two fitted diapers and no cover or some other mishap that resulted in diaper malfunction.

Cloth is bulky.  When she's wearing cloth, the answer is yes.

Why I ditched the cloth: I just recently stopped using my cloth diapers and went all sposie with Annika.  The main reason being the leaks and increased number of diaper changes. I just couldn't deal with it anymore.  I figured I had done my dues to save the earth and I just needed a break from changing diapers every hour.  I was also tired of dealing with the stink from the diaper pail.   And I no longer feel like we are in a place where I feel so financially strapped to stretch every single penny.  So, I'm giving myself a break for awhile. 

I will likely bring the cloth out again when it comes time for potty-training. I'm a fan of doing it early and i find that cloth does make potty-training easier. 

What about you?  Do you use cloth diapers?  Have you tried them? Did you stick with it?

Any hey look, it's Sunday.  So I figured I would link up with Rosie for My Sunday Best.

It's in the 60's today, even though it's February, which is why Elsa is wearing a summer dress. Here is what Elsa, Annika and I wore today. 

Then Ben decided to get in the picture, so now we have a nice family picture minus the three older kids, who are much less cooperative when it comes to picture taking,

Baby Sleep...What I'm Doing Differently with Baby #5....or how I gently taught my baby to sleep alone(ish)

I've never had a kid that was naturally a "good sleeper".  I've never had a kid that just falls asleep anywhere.  I've never had a kid that slept longer than average.  In fact, whenever I would look at those sleep charts of how much sleep a child of x age should be my sleeping...mine were always on the lowest end of the range..or sometimes even lower,

Nighttime, I don't usually have a problem with. I love co-sleeping.  I don't mind co-sleeping at all.  I actually sleep better next to my babies. 

Naps are a different thing though.  I don't like napping and I certainly can't lie around in bed every time my baby needs to take a nap.  Ain't no one got time for that. 

With the first three babies, for all naps, I would nurse them lying down in bed and when they feel asleep I would sneak away.  It worked okay.  I mean..they napped.  Not a super long time, but they did it, and I was able to get some stuff done.  

Then along came Elsa.  And she was the WORST NAPPER EVER.  She would fall asleep nursing, and then a butterfly would flap its wings in China and she would wake up.  She would not sleep alone and consequently spent most of her infancy getting by on short, little cat-naps. Most of her naps took place in my lap, while I tapped, tapped, tapped away on the old computer keyboard.  I should have written a book, but mostly I just wrote blog posts. 

Then we had Annika and I was determined to do things differently.  I got a Special Delivery Baby Hammock and starting putting her down in it when she fell asleep.  Sometimes she would stay asleep, sometimes she wouldn't.  But overall, it was a big improvement over how Elsa napped.  It was working okay. 

For the first 4 months, that is. Then it stopped working. The length of time she would sleep in it got less and less. She would wake up sooner and cry and fuss and move around, and not fall back asleep.  She had to be in the deepest of sleeps to stay asleep and as soon as she shifted into lighter sleep, she would awaken. I think the movement of the hammock as she moved around was actually waking her up.  She also developed a very strong preference for sleeping on her belly, as she learned to roll over rather early. Even while co-sleeping, she preferred (still prefers) to sleep on her belly.  You can't sleep on your belly while in the hammock.

So, for awhile we struggled.  She would fall asleep nursing in my lap and I would feel pinned down and unable to get up.  It was frustrating.  I did NOT want to be pinned down to a napping baby all the time, and while I love babywearing in certain situations, I really wanted my baby to be able to nap alone. 

So, I checked out this book from the library.







I read it.  It was definitely helpful, although night-time sleeping isn't really our problem as I love co-sleeping and night-time awakenings don't really bother me as long as the baby falls back asleep quickly while nursing in bed.  

So, I realized that THIS is the book I actually needed. 



And it was very helpful.

Over the course of about 2 weeks, I gently taught Annika to sleep alone in her crib (pack n play actually). It's a beautiful thing. 

Now, she still doesn't fall asleep alone.  I still nurse her to sleep.  But now I can nurse her to sleep and then put her in the crib and she'll sleep in there for OVER AN HOUR BY HERSELF!! 

I don't mind nursing her sleep because well....I have to nurse her anyway.  I mean, she has to eat and it just makes SENSE to put her to sleep with as full a belly as possible.  Plus, nursing just makes her fall asleep so easily.  All my kids nursed to sleep as babies and then eventually learned to fall asleep without nursing.  Pinky-swear. It does happen. 

These are the steps I took to accomplish this:

1).  Every time I thought she would fall asleep nursing, I would nurse her upstairs in the bedroom on the floor next to the crib and then once she was "asleep enough" put her in the crib on her belly* and then pat/rub her back until she would fall asleep again.  She doesn't take a pacifier, but she does sometimes suck her thumb and will suck on our fingers, so sometimes I would stick my finger in her mouth to let her suck and sometimes I would help her find her own thumb to suck.

To be honest, this stage did involve a small amount of crying.  Not much....never more than a few minutes and I never left her alone to cry.  Sometimes it took a few tries of picking her up and nursing her until she was fully asleep again and then trying again, but I was just really consistent with it and kept trying for every nap (and when I would put her to bed for the night). 

It took about 2 weeks of doing this consistently, but now I can nurse her until she is asleep and pretty much reliably put her down every time.  I don't even have to worry about how "asleep-asleep" she is and can put her down as soon as she falls asleep.

2). However, she was still waking up after a short time.  It was longer than when we used the hammock..but still usually less than 30 minutes.   So, this is where the book became really helpful. I was able troubleshoot some of our problems and once I worked on those, her sleep much improved and now she will take 1+ hour long naps by herself.

This is what I learned. 

I need to be more intentional about her naps.  Apparently, at 6 months, a baby can only have 2-3 hours of awake time before needing to nap.  I hadn't realized that.  I was just letting her fall asleep nursing (amongst the midst of our busy household) whenever she was tired, which basically resulted in her getting over-tired a lot because by 6 months she is more than capable of keeping herself awake.  She's alert.  She's busy. She's smart. She wants to be involved in the happenings of the house.  She was keeping herself awake.   So now, about 2-3 hours after her last awakening time, I take her upstairs and get her ready for a nap.  This involves changing her diaper, turning on the white noise machine and nursing her.

I need to use white noise. I've never used white noise to help my babies sleep before.  Actually..that is not true.  Heidi and Greta both used to sleep in the stroller in the bathroom with the fan on and lights off (because we lived in houses that had bathrooms without any windows and the room would get totally dark) as toddlers.  They napped really well like that.  But since then I had forgotten about the importance of white noise and hadn't used it.  However, the book really suggested it, so I thought I would try it.  Plus..now we have smartphones so I could download a free app and try it out before buying a machine.  And it worked.  So I bought a cheap white noise machine and it really does help her sleep longer.  

She likes the waterfall and rainfall sounds best. The heartbeat sound is creepy and reminds me of Edgar Allen Poe, so we don't use that one. 

I needed to make the crib pack n play more comfortable.  Let's face it.  A pack n play mattress is like sleeping on a piece of cardboard.  Not that comfortable. Of course, I could invest in a crib, but I like the space-saving and portability of the pack n play.   So, I put a crocheted blanket totally flat underneath the fitted sheet and this makes it a lot softer and more comfortable, while still being safe, in my opinion.  I'm sure that is a safety no-no, but for a 6-month old that has been rolling since she was 2-3 months and crawling (army crawl) since 5 months, I think it's fine She is in no danger of suffocating anywhere and is past the age of greatest SIDS risk. Plus, they say SIDS is a problem in babies that sleep too deeply. Sleeping too deeply is NOT her problem. Sleeping too lightly is her problem. 

I need to put her to bed earlier.   The book suggests putting kids to bed by 6:30 or 7:00 PM.  I don't usually get her to bed that early, but I do start to try earlier than I used to.  Now, she is going to sleep around 7:30 PM and sleeping the first part of the night by herself. Then I take her into bed with me once she wakes up or once I go to sleep. 

I need to be intentional about naps even when not at home. To be honest, I used to pooh-pooh those parents who were super rigid about naps and would miss events and stay home so their baby could nap.  Now, I sorta understand it. Although I'm still not willing to do it.  With 5 kids, you just can't be all "sorry, we're dropping out of co-op so the baby can nap every morning".  Not going to happen.  Not fair to the older kids.  What I can do however, is help her nap while we are out. 

Another thing I learned is that once babies get past the newborn stage, they really need to nap at least 45-60 minutes to get the restorative benefits of a nap.  Anything less is a "crap nap" and not as beneficial.  This means that if we are out and she is napping in the go, I still need to be intentional and plan ahead. Thankfully, she have been sleeping in the silng/ergo when we are out of the house pretty much since she was born, so she is used to sleeping in there. One morning a week we are at co-op from 9-12   Normally at home, she would take a morning nap around 10:00 AM.  So, at co-op, around 10:00-10:30 AM, I put her in the ergo or sling and make a point of walking around with her a bit so she will fall asleep and then she snoozes in there all during the chemistry class I teach.   Or, if I know we are going to be someplace until x time and that she will need a nap, I try to nurse her/sling her at least 1 hour before x time, so she can get that hour long nap in.

The downside of doing this, is she isn't falling asleep every time we get in the car anymore, so she is a bit crankier in there.  But, she is sleeping better overall and she's no longer subsisting off of 20 minutes car naps. 


And this is how I gently taught my baby to sleep by herself.  At least for naps and the first part of the night. I really liked the no-cry series of books.  It's not a quick fix.  It takes longer than sleep-training, I am sure.  But it was gentle and didn't involve lots of crying and was something I felt good about doing. 

Now we are all much happier, as she is getting better naps and I am getting a lot more free time and not feeling frustrating by being pinned down with a sleeping baby.  I don't know that this would necessarily work for every baby.  I'm not sure that it would have with Elsa, but it is working with Annika and I think it would have worked with several others of my less high-needs babies as well. 

*DISCLAIMER:  I didn't start teaching her how to sleep alone until around 6 months.  Since we're doing belly-sleeping and I modified her mattress to make it softer, I wouldn't recommend doing those particular things with a younger baby.