How to Be a Miserable Person and Ruin Family Relationships This Thankgsiving in THREE Easy Steps

Thanksgiving is coming.  The time of year when families get together, gluttony is practiced and tempers flair.

Do you hate happy family gatherings?  

Do you WANT to have strained relationships with your relatives?

Does nothing infuriate you more than people that get along?

Well..I have the solution for YOU. 

Here is how YOU TOO can have strained family relations and make everyone else miserable this Thanksgiving and Christmas and the WHOLE COMING YEAR.

Step One: Take Offense At EVERYTHING. 

Step Two: Hold Grudges Like Forever.

Step Three: See Judgement Everywhere.

A Family Member Near or Far Didn't Wish You Happy Birthday 5 Months Ago.  Definitely take offense and hold that against them.

You aren't able to breastfeed, but your sister/cousin nurses her baby everywhere. Clearly she is just doing it AT you to show how superior she is.  Take offense and hold a grudge.

Uncle Lorenzo mentions how much he loves Politician Corrrupto.   Clearly he is just saying that because he knows how much you HATE Politician Corrupto.  Take offense and hold a grudge.

Five years ago your cousin said something that hurt your feelings.  DEFINITELY hold it against them..for at least the next five years.

You didn't get a Christmas card last year from your brother-in-law-in-law-in-law.  That is for sure a slight...hold it against them!

Three years ago your niece called you to wish you happy birthday but their spouse couldn't talk to you because they were on the way out the door to someplace that they should have left 10 minutes ago.  DEFINITELY take offense and hold it against them for the next three years...if not five. 

Your fifth cousin 27 times removed posted something on Facebook which you vehemently disagree with.  Clearly you should NEVER talk to them again.  Never, ever, ever, ever. 

You sister parents differently from you. Clearly that means you can NEVER get along Those wild hellions are allowed to NOT finish their plate..and every time that happens a butterfly in China dies.  So, just avoid them until she comes around to your way of thinking.   

And BE SURE to incite the mommy-wars by being POSITIVE that your natural-birthing, breastfeeding, organic-food eating, attachment-parenting sister is DEFINTIELY judging you for your different choices. Definitely!!

Oh...and if someone has a different religion than you.  They probably hate you....so just go ahead and hate them first. Totally!!

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Or you can do none of these things and have a Happy Thanksgiving.  Your choice.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Thankful

Today I am thankful for:

A sinkful of dirty dishes because it means we have plenty of food.

Books all over the floor because it means we have the freedom to educate our children the way we want.

Cute kids

Pretty (and silly) girls

A husband that works hard, is an awesome daddy and always makes me laugh. Plus he sports a sexy beard. 

Grandmas

Grandpas

Uncles

Aunts

The fact that even though it's cold outside and we live in enough of a wooded area to see deer, we haven't seen any mice or evidence of mice in our house (I live in fear of mice).

All my friends...both near and fair.

And all of YOU dear readers.  Yes, I'm thankful for YOU...for taking the time to read my writing, for your comments...and for all the friends and new people I've met through the bloggy world.

Happy Thanksgiving!  May you all have a Blessed and Happy and Food-Filled Day!

(Linking up with Cari and FLAP)

A Lonely Thanksgiving with Recipes

The title is a bit melodramatic, but we're alone this Thanksgiving.  Just us.  In years past, we've always gotten together with either family or friends....(except for that first year we were in Florida, and we went to the beach..because ya know, it was 80 degrees).   But, down here in Virginia, we're too far from family and haven't really made any good friends  (although I did invite another family over, unfortunately they can't come).  C'est la vie.   

So, it's slightly depressing being alone, but we're still going to have a Thanksgiving feast, and, at least I don't have the pressure of having to have a clean house.  Plus, we get to eat all the pie ourselves. 

This is what we're having,

1. 

Turkey

Of course.  I love snatching up turkeys super cheap when they go on sale.

This year, I'm hoping  to get the perfectly moist and juicy turkey.

To achieve this, I'm going to roast the bird in an oven bag and shove melted butter, garlic, salt and spices under the skin.  You just melt butter and mix it with some minced garlic, sea salt, and whatever other spices you like (I tend to go all Simon and Garfunkel like with parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme).  Lift the skin of the turkey and shoved that yummy butter mix underneath it and then roast as you normally would.

2.

Stuffing

Since we are all gluten-free and healthy down here, I'm going to try Cam's Gluten-Free Stuffing Recipe.  With a few modifications.   Instead of ground pork, I'm using sausage and I probably won't use all those spices.  I am using mushrooms though, which means that I might be the only one eating it, but hey..more for me!

3. 

Cranberry Sauce

It's wicked easy to make your own cranberry sauce.  Just mix sugar with fresh cranberries and water.  Boil it all together and mash.  Super yummy and super easy.

4.

Sweet Potatoes

I just slice sweet potatoes, place in a backing dish and dot with ample butter.  Sprinkle with sea salt, brown sugar and cinnamon.  Bake at 400 degrees or so until the  potatoes get soft.  

Super yummy!

5. 

Mashed Potatoes

I boil several potatoes (skins and all) along with a peeled onion and a few cloves of garlic.  Once the potatoes are cooked, mash all that up with butter and some sea salt.  Mix in milk to make that creamy consistency.  These are so good!  The onions and garlic really adds a delicious flavor.

6.

Roasted Green Beans

Toss green beans with olive oil, salt, and garlic powder, Spread out on a baking dish and roast in the oven until they are well...roasted.  Soft on the inside and bit crispy on the outside.  

7.

Bread

I'm not 100% sure, I'll be making this, but I do love a good loaf of artisan bread.   So, I think I'm going to make the Gluten-Free Crusty Boule.

8. 

Crust-less Pumpkin Pie

It's super easy and super tasty.  One could maybe even make the claim that it's sorta healthy. 

9.

Swedish Apple Pie.

I saw this recipe on Colleen's blog and KNEW I had to make it. 

I'm pretty sure I can just sub in gluten-free flour and it will be fine.

10.

Chocolate Pie

Because my other desserts contain fruit or vegetables so they don't count as dessert (right?). 

I'm going to make it crustless, because with an inside like that..who needs crust?  I've never made this recipe before, but it looks easy and delicious.  And hey...it contains tofu, which makes it sorta healthy as well, right?

And, because I have to link-up, I'm linking up with Cari for T-Day recipes.