5 Kitchen Secrets

I spend a lot of time in the kitchen.  A lot!  However, our kitchen is small and terrible and I pretty much hate it, so spending a lot of time there isn't fun. I dream of having a big, open kitchen with LOTS of counter space. However, in the meantime, I just do my best to save time, while not sacrificing health or taste. 

Here are my five favorite time-saving tricks. 

1. Peel garlic and onions super fast!!



This video is about peeling garlic, but it works just as well for onions too. 
2. Make chicken stock overnight while you sleep!

This is so easy you don't even need a video. Just put the chicken carcass in your crockpot, cover with water, add a few tablespoons of vinegar and cook on low all night long.  And even the next day.  You can keep it in the crockpot as long as you like, until you feel like dealing with it.  Could not get easier and you never have to worry about it.  

3.  Make most any vegetable delicious, guaranteed!!

That's right, most ANY vegetable can be made totally delicious by roasting.  Lettuce, cucumbers and radishes are the exception. Anything else can be be made absolutely scrumptious by roasting...broccoli, winter squash, kale, collards, turnip greens, red beets, Brussels sprouts, carrots, zucchini, green beans...you name it and I roast it.  

To roast, just chop your vegetable, toss with olive oil, salt and whatever other spices you feel like throwing in there.   Bake at 425 degrees until done.  The length of time depends on the vegetables...leafy greens (kale, collards, etc.) roast quickly (10 minutes) while broccoli, carrots, butternut squash, etc. take a bit longer (30-40 minutes).

4. Never waste any food, ever again!

Make kitchen sink soup!  What is kitchen sink soup you may ask?  It's soup you make using all the leftover dribs and drabs you have in your refrigerator.  Just take your chicken broth (that you made up above) and throw in whatever you have that you need to use up.  Those limp carrots...throw them in.  That onion that is about to go bad...throw it in.  Potatoes starting to turn green...throw them in. Leftover meatballs or meatloaf or chicken or pork or sausage or pasta or rice or beans or mashed potatoes or anything...throw it in.  Round out your soup with some onions, garlic and whatever else you like to make it nice and hearty (I usually throw pasta in there).  Don't forget the salt and other seasonings! 

It's incredibly easy, delicious and healthy!

5. How to Make Any Baked Good Taste Fabulous!!

Add lots of butter and sugar. Seriously...it's the secret to delicious baked goods...every time.  Maybe not healthy baked goods...but delicious ones!!

photo source

  
And, since there are 5 of these favorite tips..I'm linking up with  Jenna for Five Favorites.

What I Learned from Doing Whole30

A Whole30 is a dietary plan where for 30 days, you eat nothing but eggs, fruits, vegetables, nuts, meats, fish, spices and fats

(olive oil, coconut oil, and something called ghee, which is "clarified butter"). No grains, no dairy, no sugar, no sweeteners, no legumes, nothing processed and no baked goods made with "Whole30 foods".

Yes, it is as dreary as it sounds.  But actually it's not that bad.

And, just to get this out of the way, I did not follow this perfectly. In fact, I cheated A LOT.  In the following ways.

1) I ate all natural bacon/sausage that DID have some added sugar. No MSG or nitrates or anything like that, but yes to sugar.

2) I ate regular mayonnaise, instead of making my own. 

3) I went totally off the plan for any meal I ate out of the house (which was about 1 meal a week, except for 1 week where it was like 3 meals).  And I didn't follow it for my daughter's birthday dinner/cake. 

4) I did try to make "treats" using whole30 ingredients (see below for details).

Nonetheless, it was still a major and positive change.

What I ate:

Breakfast: eggs, and sausage or bacon (except on Fridays), fruit

Lunch: chicken or tuna salad with onions, lettuce, tomato and nuts along with some sorts of vegetable (roasted eggplant, sauteed mushrooms, roasted zucchini).  Or leftovers if we had any. 

Dinner: meat or fish, green vegetable and a starchy vegetable (potato, sweet potato, winter squash, carrots, spaghetti squash, etc.)

Snacks: nuts, dried fruit, fresh fruit, fresh veggies, shredded coconut

What I Learned:

1) Eating is very much a social experience.  It is EXTREMELY hard to eat this way when eating out of the house.  Which is why I didn't, because I'm not about to isolate myself.  And, I figure that if 20/21 meals a week are whole and clean, that's pretty good.

2) Without dairy and grains, it is VERY hard to do meatless Fridays. Or at least, I feel the lack of meat more.  We ended up eating more fish, which *I* like, but no one else does.  Too bad for them. Actually I made a really good recipe with flounder breaded in coconut flour and everyone said it wasn't too bad.  And, as we eat more fish, I'm sure everyone will get accustomed to eating it more. 

3) Sugar/chocolate has a very powerful stronghold.  Which is why I ended up  making "treats" (mostly combining nuts, dates and cocoa powder to make little balls).  They are actually quite tasty. However, combining avocado, dates and cocoa is not nearly as good. I'm sure if I followed the plan "perfectly" it would have been easier to break the sugar/chocolate addiction.  However, to be honest, I don't really want to. Chocolate makes me happy. 

4) Eating this way is both very simple and very monotonous when you can't afford steak.  That's both good and bad. It's good in that portion control is much easier. It's bad in that well..it can get boring in a chicken again...kind of way. I've had to learn how to cook new dishes, since a lot of our old favorites (pizza, tacos, macaroni and cheese) were out the window.

5) I generally felt very good eating this way..more energy for sure. The only issue is really with eating TOO many vegetables, all that fiber can be a bit rough on digestion if you know what I mean. And, I had less food cravings and less sugar lows and less feelings of being hangry (that's hungry/angry for those not in the know). And it's pretty much impossible to overeat, eating like this..which is probably the best thing about it.  I left each meal feeling satiated but not overly full. 

6). Weight loss.  I know this is what everyone is really interested in.  I did lose some weight.  Probably about 5-7 pounds over the course of the whole month.  Nothing spectacular, but nothing to sneeze at either.

7). Generally my food expenditure stayed about the same. From what others have written it seems as though some people have their food expenditure go down because they cut out eating out, alcohol and fancy coffee.  Some people have their expenditure go up because they are buying more meat/veggies. Mine pretty much stayed the same, although it would have probably gone up if we didn't have the generosity of my parents who supplied us with ample fresh organic vegetables from their garden each week.  That helped a lot. 

Moving Forward: I generally plan to continue eating this way on an 80/20 basis.  Follow the plan generally 80% of the time and deviate it from about 20% of the time for special or social occasions.  It's working, it's healthy and I think it's good for everyone.  I do think I may add in more legumes as many sources say they are healthy and I have never noticed them bothering me.  However, definitely going to keep the dairy/grains limited. 

Baby-Steps To Healthier Eating

Food matters y'all.  Everyone knows that right, everyone knows that what we put into our bodies effects how they function. 

But, that doesn't mean that eating healthy is easy.  It isn't. Things like lack of time and lack of money and lack of know-how get in the way. 

It takes a lot to change eating habits, and you don't get there overnight.  We eat a mostly whole foods diet, but we didn't always eat that way.  It took a lot of "baby steps" along the way to reach the point we are at now.  

I thought I would detail some of the steps I took along the way...and how I moved from more conventional eating to healthier eating.  Maybe it will help someone.

To start at the beginning, I did have an advantage in the healthy eating lifestyle.  When I was a kid, while all the other kids were eating Twinkies and Lucky Charms and marshmallow fluff Sandwiches, we had to eat stuff like homemade whole wheat bread, collard soup and home grown green beans.

Plus, we had to go out and weed the HUGE vegetable garden every day in the summer (I hated weeding!). 

However, once I left home, like your typical college student, I didn't eat well on dorm food, and then I fell down the low-fat, low-calorie rabbit hole where I thought diet Pepsi was the best thing ever.  It took many years to dig myself back up to a place where I would voluntarily eat collard soup again. 

So here 7 steps I took to get into a more wholesome eating lifestyle....and keep in mind that these steps took YEARS, to get me where I now am.  And, our diet still isn't perfect, we do enjoy treats and during times of travel or holidays healthy eating goes out the window. But the rest of the time, we try to stick to whole, clean, unprocessed, healthy foods.

1)  Eating vegetables every day at dinner. I started out with canned vegetables, then moved onto frozen vegetables before finally tackling fresh vegetables. It took a long time for me to be comfortable cooking or preparing fresh vegetables

on a regular basis, but now I find them some of the easiest things to cook. 
e 2) Avoiding certain ingredients like high fructose corn syrup, BHT, BHA and MSG, artificial colors, artificial sweeteners, unpronounceable things, etc.

3) Learning to make everything from scratch...learning how to cook things like breads, yogurt, cookies, soups, sauces, salad dressings was the next step.  This sorta goes along with step 2, because to avoid all those "bad" things, you either need to spend a fortune at Whole Foods or learn to make everything yourself.  I chose making it myself. 

4) Adding in high-nutrient foods like bone broths, fermented vegetables, new vegetables (like avocado). 

5) Giving up gluten. Now obviously lots of people don't need to do this, but once I realized that gluten didn't agree with me, it was the kiss of death for processed food in our household.  No more crackers, cereals, pretzels..things I had held onto before were no longer a regular part of our pantry.

6) Following the perfect health diet (liming dairy, grains, sugar etc.)  After Elsa was born, I started following the Perfect Health Diet.  Not perfectly by any means, but it was an impetus to limit dairy and avoid certain grains, like corn, sugar, etc.  We always still allowed ourselves treats, but I no longer made these foods a regular part of our everyday diet. 

7) Trying Whole30.  I'm still in this right now, but this seems to be another step I needed to help me really clean up my diet.  I had gotten into the bad habit of stress-eating chocolate and cooking with too much cheese (which really isn't good for us) and eating too many carbs (like rice pasta which is pretty nutritionally defunct). We still eat those foods, but not in the same frequency or at the same quantities that we used to.

Keep in mind. This was NOT a linear progression.  There were LOTS of backwards steps and regressions...sometimes for things like pregnancy or a new baby or a move and sometimes just because life was extra stressful.  But one thing I've learned is any baby steps I make are positive, because even if we regress on them, it's a lot easier to get back into healthy eating once I know-how to do it. And, we still eat ice cream on Sundays and chips on occasion, but generally I try to follow the 80/20 rule.  If 80% of your diet is good, it's okay to eat junk food 20% of the time. 

(linking for 7QTF)  

What We Eat: A Whole, Natural Foods, Clean-Eating Weekly Meal Plan on a Budget

In my last post, Courtney asked about our weekly meal plan and what we eat on a weekly basis.

Well, I aim to please....so I thought I'd do a post about what we eat on a regular basis. 

1. How We Eat

We try to eat a whole, natural, unprocessed foods diet...on a (tight) budget.

I eat gluten-free, but the rest of the family does not.  Which means, I only make gluten-free baked goods and cook with gluten-free pasta, but everyone else does eat whole-wheat bread. 

While, I'm a fan of organics...about the only organic foods we eat are the ones we grow ourselves (or my parents grow and give us....which means mostly yellow squash or zucchini right now).  I only very rarely buy organic because we simply can't afford it.  I wish we could, but I figure it's better to at least eat unprocessed, whole, natural foods....even if they aren't organic.

2. What I Buy

I do buy a few "ready-made foods" (bread, ice cream, peanut butter, chocolate chips, jelly, corn tortillas, tomato sauce and corn chips). Most of what I buy is relatively unprocessed however. 

So, this is what you'll find in my weekly shopping cart (or trip to the farmer's market or Amazon shopping cart).

-whole milk

-assorted vegetables (broccoli, beans, kale, lettuce, spinach, onions, garlic, tomatoes, carrots, asparagus, spinach)...generally whatever is on sale.

-assorted fruits (again...whatever is on sale) but I ALWAYS buy bananas.  Always.  I never go to the store without buying bananas.

-potatoes (red or white)

-rice (I like jasmine rice)

-meat (usually chicken or beef or turkey...whatever is on sale).  Occasionally all-natural sausage (the kind without BHT, or MSG),  Rarely, I do buy pork, but it's not something we often eat. 

-gluten-free pasta (I prefer rice pasta because I try to limit corn)

-oatmeal (old-fashioned oats)

-chocolate chips (gotta have some treat..right!)

-nuts and seeds (walnuts, flax seeds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, almonds)

-peanut butter

-jelly (I do try to buy only the all-natural kind without high-fructose corn syrup)

-cheese (cheddar, mozzarella, Swiss, provolone, Parmesan)

-beans (black beans, kidney beans, garbanzo beans, lentils)

-bread (the "healthiest" whole-wheat bread I can buy that isn't too expensive)

-ice cream (again..you gotta have your treats)

-corn tortillas

-eggs

-frozen vegetables (usually broccoli or beans)

-olive oil

-coconut oil

-honey

-butter

-maple syrup

-gluten-free flour blend 

-sugar

-spices

-corn chips (occasionally)

-tomato sauce (I try to buy the least processed kind without high fructose corn syrup)

-gluten free flour blend

I don't buy all these things every week..but these are pretty much the only things I ever do buy.  Occasionally I buy a treat like gluten-free cookies or potato chips...but that is usually only when we have a trip or a party or something.

So, that's what I buy....here is what we eat.   

3. Breakfast:

homemade Greek Yogurt (here is a great tutorial on making homemade Greek yogurt in your crockpot) with honey and nuts/seeds/chocolate chips (I do nuts/seeds...the kids do chocolate chips).

fruit

oatmeal

eggs

peanut butter toast or buttered toast

4. Lunch:

leftovers

peanut butter sandwich

fruit

salad

frozen veggies

grilled cheese

cheese/bean quesadillas (made with corn tortillas)

cheese/bean nachos (with corn chips...this is more a treat" lunch)

carrots

corn chips with homemade guacamole or hummus or salsa (occasionally..more of a "treat" thing)

5. Snacks:

fruit

yogurt

cheese

nuts

carrots

homemade granola bars (occasionally)

homemade muffins or cookies (occasionally)

-healthy chocolate bars (made with coconut oil, honey and cocoa)

6. Dinner:

Crock pot macaroni and cheese (made with gluten free pasta)/ vegetables

Homemade pizza (with gluten-free crust)/ vegetables

Roast chicken/baked potato/vegetable

Chicken/rice/vegetable curry/stir-fry

man-pleasing chicken/mashed potato/vegetable

baked fish/roasted potato/vegetable

curried ground beef/rice/vegetable

gluten-free pasta/meatballs/vegetable

beef/bean tacos/vegetable

curried sausage/rice/vegetable

sausage/pasta/vegetable

beans/rice/vegetables

soup (made with homemade stock)

gluten free pancakes/eggs/fruit/vegetables

hamburgers/homemade "fries"/vegetables

7. My Cooking Style

I apologize for not having more recipes.  Most of the things I make, I don't actually use a recipe.  I just throw ingredients together. For example. for a curried stir-fry I just throw in spices like curry powder, ginger along with onions, garlic and olive oil.  For tacos I don't use a seasoning mix, I just brown ground beef or turkey and then throw in some beans, onions, cumin, paprika, salt and pepper. For soup, I use homemade stock and then just throw in a veggies, pasta, meat, potatoes, rice, whatever strikes my fancy. 

I put onions, garlic, salt and olive oil in just about everything (why, yes..I am Italian). Sometimes I use mustard. Usually, it tastes pretty good.

For vegetables, I usually roast whatever vegetables I have.  This works for just about everything (with the exception of spinach and lettuce)...broccoli, green beans, zucchini, kale, collards, mustard green, asparagus, Brussels sprouts. eggplant, etc.  I just toss with olive oil, salt, pepper, and whatever else I feel like and bake it in the over at 350-400 degrees (depending on how fast I want it to cook) for 10-30 minutes (greens take less time....things like broccoli, zucchini, eggplant take more like 30 minutes.)

I'm not a very precise cook so I can't be real precise in my instructions.  Sorry.

That's how we eat.  I'd love to hear about how YOU eat.  I'm always looking for new ideas.  It definitely feels like we get stuck eating the same things over and over again. 

(Since there are 7 headings and it's Friday...I'll call it 7 Quick Takes Friday and link up with Jen)

The Advantages of Picky Eaters....and How We Deal With Them

Picky eating....it's a topic most parents struggle with.  How to deal with it?  Do you allow it?  

Picky Eating Has Advantages....Yes, it really, really does.  At least in my very, very limited scope of experience.  My children who are picky are naturally thin and more in tune to their body's natural feelings of fullness and satiation than my child who is not picky.  I've seen these children (on occasion) leave the bottom half of an ice cream cone because they were full.  They frequently leave food on their plates.  I consider that a good thing, because they don't overeat...ever.   Even if it's their favorite food, they don't overeat. In our society nowadays, that is big. That is HUGE. That ability to be in tune to your own body and not overeat is major.  Maybe if we lived in a society where food is scarce, this would be a disadvantage.  But, in the land of the plenty, I consider it to be an advantage. 

My experience with adults is even more limited, but I think adults who tend to be a bit picky may be a bit less likely to overeat and a bit more in tune their body's natural feeling of satiation.  Just a generality and there are a million and one exceptions, but very, very generally speaking the people I've have known who have been on the picker side, tend to be a bit on the thinner side.  Again, there a million exceptions, or course.

Since some kids are naturally choosy about what they eat, we only let them choose healthy foods.   We generally eat a very whole foods, natural diet.   My kids can't be all, I'm only going to eat frozen chicken nuggets and Kraft Mac N' Cheese and Lucky Charms, because I never buy those things.  Never, ever, ever.   Our weekly grocery shopping cart generally consists of things like milk. cheese, yogurt, meat/fish, eggs, butter, oatmeal, whole grain bread, peanut butter, "natural" jelly, pasta, rice, beans, nuts, baking supplies, large amounts of fruits and vegetables and of course ice cream (which is only for Sundays). 

  We don't buy convenience foods or packaged foods or things like that.  So, my kids can't decide to only eat crackers and chicken nuggets and peanut butter fluff sandwiches because we don't buy those things. 

I try to make at least one thing each person likes at each dinner.  Our dinners generally consist of meat/starch (rice or pasta or potatoes)/vegetables or something meatless like homemade macaroni and cheese, homemade pizza or bean dishes.   Each child does not have to eat everything, but they have to eat something and they have to eat at least a very tiny portion of vegetables.  

If they are still hungry after dinner.  If they absolutely don't like anything (besides the vegetables), they can choose to eat an acceptable dinner alternative, but they have to get/make it themselves.  The choices for this in our house are pretty much yogurt (whole milk, plain, organic), oatmeal, peanut butter sandwich, cheese sandwich or eggs.  I don't cook a second dinner, but I don't prevent them form making their own healthy alternative either. 

I don't make them clean their plate.  If they don't finish everything, I put it away and usually Ben or I will  eventually eat it as leftovers.   I'm not picky that way. 

I make sure they are hungry. I've found that not allowing snacks in the 2 hours before dinnertime encourages better eating at dinner.  If they're hungry, they eat more, eat better and are less picky. 

I don't sweat it. In my experience, most kids do outgrow picky eating and become a bit more adventurous as they get older. They may still not eat everything, but they eat more and more. 

Some big parenting expert...can't remember who...(maybe Dr. Sears?  maybe Ellyn Satter? anyone know?) once said something along of the lines of your job is to provide healthy foods, your child's job is to eat it.  It was something like that anyway.  The gist is, the parent decides what is served and when and the child decides if they want to eat it or not.  And, that is what we do.   Starting with babies.  I basically do child fed weaning, which means I let my babies self-feed themselves, starting with table food, right around 6-7 months.  They basically feed themselves from then on.  Yes, this is quite messy, but they get pretty adapt at feeding themselves and using utensils earlier than they probably otherwise would.  And, since they are given table food right from the beginning, they never have to transition to it, they just start eating it. 

This is what we do.  It remains to be seen of course, but I'm hopeful that our children will continue generally healthy eating habits once they are grown.

How do you handle picky eating in your house?  Any tips or tricks?  What works and doesn't work for you. 

Why this Health Food Nut is a little less Nutty..or Why I'm Unliking a Bunch of Stuff on Facebook

Most people who know me, know that I'm really into natural health and medicine, home remedies, supplements and healthy eating.  You've got a cold or mastitis or sinus infection or eczema or warts, or psoriasis or constipation or canker sores or allergies...I've got a home remedy for that. 

I've spent way too much time reading and learning about healthy eating...you name a food trend....juicing, green smoothies, paleo, traditional foods, vegan, raw, macrobiotic, fermented foods, soaking grains, perfect health diet, gluten-free...I've heard about it, read about it and probably even tried it to some extent.

My Facebook newsfeed was cluttered with updates from all these different natural health foods and bloggers...Natural News, Natural Health Society, All Diseases Begin in the Gut, Heal Thyself,...I could go on and on.

Every day I'd read more about the dangers of GMO's and fluoride and non-organic, conventionally raised food, and BPA's and THC's and XYZ's and microwaves and cell phones and wireless internet and oh..just about everything else that makes life even remotely easy. 

 Not to mention all the confusing information...grains are good, but you have to soak them....grains are bad, avoid at all costs.  Beans are good, if you soak and sprout them....beans are bad..just eat meat, coconut  oil and vegetables. Dairy is evil and increases inflammation....dairy is good as long as it is raw, grass-fed and from happy cows named Daisy.  Meat is evil...meat is great and you can live off bacon..   Honey is great for you....except when it's not.  Vegetable oils are good...vegetable oils are evil...except for coconut oil which is the holy grail of oils.  Vegan only is the way to go,...except  eggs are the most healthful food on earth...as long as they come from free-range chickens that eat only organic grass and bugs and run around in fields all day happily doing the chicken dance.    

And then there are the recipes.  No, making cauliflower wraps is NOT easy...you have to pulse the cauliflower and then steam it and then wring it out and form it and bake it....and that's just to make ONE wrap.   Or the infamous recipe for cauliflower pizza crust....which uses a boatload of mozzarella and takes a ton of time...and is way harder than making your own pizza crust with flour.   And, apparently everything has to be soaked before eating...grains, nuts, beans...and if you sprout it, it's even better.

Finally, there comes a point when it's time to say enough.   For me, that point came when I looked on Facebook and saw a recipe for chocolate placenta truffles.   Now, I love me some chocolate truffles...but placenta truffles??!?!?!?  Really?!?!?!?  Not even I am that crazy.    So, I'm unliking a bunch of stuff.  I don't want to be bombarded with 3,000,000,000 reasons why GMO's will kill us, and plastic is evil, or why I should spend hours each week driving around to 15 different farms in pursuit of raw, healthy, organic, pure foods that were picked 15 minutes ago.  I just want to feed my family healthy food.  Don't worry, we still avoid processed foods, we still eat all real food.  And, I still make my own deodorant.  But, I refuse to be wracked with guilt because our eggs are from the supermarket or our apples aren't organic or that I don't have the money to spend on an expensive filter to remover fluoride from our water..  At this point in our lives...with (very) limited funds and limited ability to grow anything ourselves...this is the best we can do.

When you run in natural health circles, you tend to know lots of crunchy, healthy, natural-health oriented people.  And, it's great to be healthy...but there comes a point where health becomes a God, and there is this futile pursuit to cheat death.   Eat this to prevent aging.  Eat that to avoid cancer.  This person eats like this and is running marathons at age 95.   Why anyone would want to run a marathon at age 95 is beyond me? If I make it to age 95, I figured I'll have earned the right to sit around and watch TV all day.   

I recently read this article by Dr. Steven Bratman, who coined the term orthorexia.  Orthorexia is an eating disorder categorized by an extreme obsession with healthy and pure eating.  Now,  I've never gone this far, or actually suffered from this and I am NOT saying that everyone who is interested in healthy eating has an eating disorder.  But some might...

This line from the article, especially resonated with me:

I was eventually saved from the doom of eternal health-

food addiction through two fortuitous events. The first occurred when my guru in eating--a vegan headed toward fruitarianism--suddenly abandoned his quest. "A revelation came to me last night in a dream," he said. "Rather than eat my sprouts alone, it would be better for me to share a pizza with some friends."

 

And, that really hit me.  Because our mental and emotional health is just as important as our physical health.  So, if healthy eating causes too much stress and worry and anxiety..or is isolating..then maybe it's not so healthy after all?  And, I was constantly stressed and worried and anxious over our non-organic food.

So, we will still eat healthy.  We will still avoid chemicals and junk and processed stuff.   We still eats tons of vegetables and fruits and only real food. But I'm giving myself permission to not feel guilty over the non-organic lettuce and regular milk.

  And, we're still basically gluten-free...but I've been testing the girls to see how they react to occasional gluten.  The jury is still out on Heidi (headaches and stomachaches we're trying to pin down)...but Greta seems to do just fine with occasional gluten. And, I'm going to be carefully testing myself.   Because, I want us to share pizza with friends..it's better than eating sprouts alone.

7 Quick Takes Friday..I'm Traumatized

--- 1 ---

You guys..I'm totally traumatized over here.  On Wednesday, we were sitting down to eat dinner.  I had made a salad using all sorts of healthy ingredients...kale, romaine lettuce, real salt, Parmesan cheese, dried oregano,extra virgin olive oil and lemon juice.  When I went to take a bite, I saw a dead, dried up one of these..

I apologize to any readers, I have traumatized with this picture.  Send me the therapy bill.

inside a lettuce fold.   

--- 2 ---

The lettuce was just from a plain, sealed bag of Publix brand Italian Blend (romaine and radicchio) and the roach was just folded up in a piece of lettuce.   And, you know what Ben had the nerve to say.

 That's the last time we buy organic.   

--- 3 ---

And, all I could do was cry.

It's not organic!!!!  It's pesticide-ridden lettuce from a sealed bag and it STILL had a HUGE  bug in it.  I can't bear to throw it away and I can't bear to eat it.  Waaaaah

--- 4 ---

So, finally, Heidi threw it away for me, and I called Publix to complain, and they said they'd call me back.  When they do, they better be offering me a nice Publix Gift Card.  Either that, or offering to pay my therapy bills. 

--- 5 ---

I'm no stranger to bugs in my lettuce.  I grew up with crunchy parents who grew organic before it was cool.  I've seen bugs in my lettuce before.  Let me tell you, there is a WORLD of difference between seeing a bug on fresh, from the garden, organic lettuce and seeing a dead, cockroach in your bagged, pesticide ridden lettuce from the store.

--- 6 ---
  Lemme just tell you though, this was way worse than the time I found a tailless lizard running around in the bottom of one of my pots.   The lizard was inside a strainer, trapped underneath a lid, running around like crazy...with it's tail just lying there separate.   And, I didn't even find that traumatic..and we still use that strainer and lid..after sanitizing the heck out of those things.

--- 7 ---

And, I think I've stretched this traumatizing story for enough quick takes..but speaking of traumatizing things...have you seen that Catholic Meme with the cat staring at a bunch of mice crawling around on his head and the caption reads:

Is Lent Over Yet?

 Every time I see it, I want to run screaming from my computer and bleach my eyes out.   I'd post it here, but I can't bear to look at it.   Mice are worse than cockroaches. .

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!