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Call me naive. Call me clueless. But it wasn't until I started being active on Facebook and reading blogs, that I started realizing just how differently our family does things when it comes to sleep.
You see, I have absolutely no concept of babies or toddlers falling asleep alone.
None.
Zero.
Zilch.
Zero.
Zilch.
Our kids have always fallen asleep with someone until they are around age 4. It never really occurred to me to do things differently.
Which is why I have been really surprised to read that other parents have to deal with things like their kids getting up in the middle of the night and wreaking havoc. Or kids bouncing around in their room, staying up until late at night. Or having to use things like baby gates or door locks to keep kids in their room.
In fact, I think I finally figured out why a few bedrooms in houses we've lived in or visited had the lock on the outside of the door. I never understood that before. Truth be told, I still don't understand it. But we all do things differently and I can respect that different families have different needs.
We've never needed any of those things, because we've always stayed with our kids until they fall asleep. Mostly that's nursing. My babies have all nursed to sleep until they were 3-3.5. But, that doesn't mean that I can NEVER leave them at night. I've been leaving Elsa at night occasionally since she turned one. She just falls asleep with Daddy or big sister.
And if they wake up in the middle of the night...well that's easy. Because it's no problem to lie in bed and nurse or cuddle once I'm already in bed.
And if they wake up in the middle of the night...well that's easy. Because it's no problem to lie in bed and nurse or cuddle once I'm already in bed.
And after they are weaned, we just lay down with them until they fall asleep. Or they fall asleep with an older sibling. But it's with someone. Until they don't need that anymore and then they fall asleep on their own...which does happen eventually.
It's generally been fairly painless and not as time-consuming as it might sound.
Yes, there have been times I've wished I didn't have to help them fall asleep. But mostly, I don't mind it. I think it sets the stage for healthy sleep habits as they grow older. It makes sleep something they look forward to, instead of something they fight.
Elsa asks for "nana, go night-night" or "nana-take nap" when she's tired. Because falling asleep cuddled up with mommy is a nice way to fall asleep, don't you think? And if mommy isn't there, then daddy will do...or big sister.
And, yes she still sleeps with me, but she won't forever. Probably by age 3, I'll move her to another room. Because she'll be ready then. Or I'll be ready then. Not her own room...because we don't have enough rooms in the house. But a room she can share with a sibling or two or three.
And probably for a few months after that, if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she'll crawl back into my bed. And that's okay. Because one day she'll stop. Truth be told, I can't even remember how old the older kids were when they stopped coming into my room in the middle of the right. Maybe 4 or 5?? But they all stopped. Well, there was that one time when a certain someone read too many ghost stories at the library around Halloween. Ghost stories are now banned.
Anyway, they all grow up and learn to sleep on their own. It's just a matter of time.
Maybe you feel the need to do things differently. That's okay. I may not understand a different way, but I can respect that different families have different needs. I've never had 2 kids under 2. I've never even had 2 kids under 2 and a half. My closest spacing is 32 months...and it gets further from there. Maybe we would have developed a different way of parenting if we had children spaced more closely together. But this is the way that works for us...the way that feels most right.
Let me tell you a little secret. I don't like crying. In fact, I hate crying. I hate hearing babies and kids cry. Hate it, hate it, hate it. I'll do almost anything to get them to stop. Yes, this does mean giving in. But guess what..it's okay to "give in" sometimes. It really is. And I would almost certainly rather take 15 minutes to nurse a baby to sleep than listen to them cry for 15 minutes. And all those little 15 minutes out of my life are really nothing.
If you do things differently, I can respect that.
But if you do things in a similar way....I want you know that you won't be doing it forever. That just because a baby can't fall sleep alone at 6 months, it doesn't mean that they won't be able to fall asleep alone at 6 years. Because they totally will. I promise. Blogger's honor. In the meantime, enjoy the weight of a cuddly, snugly baby drifting off to sleep in your arms. Because there really is nothing nicer.
And, yes she still sleeps with me, but she won't forever. Probably by age 3, I'll move her to another room. Because she'll be ready then. Or I'll be ready then. Not her own room...because we don't have enough rooms in the house. But a room she can share with a sibling or two or three.
And probably for a few months after that, if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she'll crawl back into my bed. And that's okay. Because one day she'll stop. Truth be told, I can't even remember how old the older kids were when they stopped coming into my room in the middle of the right. Maybe 4 or 5?? But they all stopped. Well, there was that one time when a certain someone read too many ghost stories at the library around Halloween. Ghost stories are now banned.
Anyway, they all grow up and learn to sleep on their own. It's just a matter of time.
Maybe you feel the need to do things differently. That's okay. I may not understand a different way, but I can respect that different families have different needs. I've never had 2 kids under 2. I've never even had 2 kids under 2 and a half. My closest spacing is 32 months...and it gets further from there. Maybe we would have developed a different way of parenting if we had children spaced more closely together. But this is the way that works for us...the way that feels most right.
Let me tell you a little secret. I don't like crying. In fact, I hate crying. I hate hearing babies and kids cry. Hate it, hate it, hate it. I'll do almost anything to get them to stop. Yes, this does mean giving in. But guess what..it's okay to "give in" sometimes. It really is. And I would almost certainly rather take 15 minutes to nurse a baby to sleep than listen to them cry for 15 minutes. And all those little 15 minutes out of my life are really nothing.
If you do things differently, I can respect that.
But if you do things in a similar way....I want you know that you won't be doing it forever. That just because a baby can't fall sleep alone at 6 months, it doesn't mean that they won't be able to fall asleep alone at 6 years. Because they totally will. I promise. Blogger's honor. In the meantime, enjoy the weight of a cuddly, snugly baby drifting off to sleep in your arms. Because there really is nothing nicer.
