Some Questions, Some Saints, Some Clothes

Linking up with Kendra for some Answer Me This. 

1. Do you hate happy clappy church music?

I actually like happy clappy church music...but not IN church/during Mass. I like it if I'm in the car or at a concert or something, but not during Mass.  We used to attend this one church in Naples, FL where the music sounded straight out of a Disney movie. I did not like that..ever.  

2. What is your priority: eating or sleeping?

Well, I make them both pretty strong priorities.   But, if it was late at night and I was hungry, I would definitely sleep instead of eat.  And, if it was during the day, I would eat instead of sleep.  I almost never take naps. 

3. What type of milk do you drink in your house?

Let's do this by family member. 

Ben: none

Me: none

Heidi: none 

Greta: whole cow's milk

John: none (unless I let him make chocolate milk by adding sugar and cocoa, which is only an occasional treat).

Elsa: breastmilk straight from the source

Don't worry though, we all eat plenty of yogurt and cheese, so none of us are calcium deficient, despite our lack of milk drinking.

I'm not a fan of milk drinking, for kids over a certain age.  I really think kids only need milk up until age 2 or 3. I'm a big fan of human milk for human kids, so once my kids wean (around age 2-3) I figure they don't need to start drinking the milk of another species.  Although as I mentioned before, we do consume plenty of dairy products, for some reason drinking milk just seems different.

Greta drinks a lot of milk because I didn't come up with my milk-philosophy until she was already addicted to cow's milk, and since she doesn't overeat and seems to balance her milk drinking with other healthy-food eating just fine, I let her drink it. And, I do buy milk for cooking, so we always have some in the house.   

4. What is a book that changed your perspective on something?

Hmmm...that's tough.  

I would have to say this book (and other books in this Covenant House Series...The Stories of America's Exploited Street Kids)

I think my parents used to get these books to sent to them for free (probably as a thank you for donating to Covenant House).

Anyway, they really changed my perspective because they definitely gave me a "There but for the Grace of God, Go I" attitude.  They made me realize that I'm not a generally, "good", law-abiding, non-drug-using, non-addict, non-child abusing, 

non-promiscuous, well-educated person due to any great moral character on my part, but mostly due to my good upbringing.  I wasn't abused nor neglected and I was raised in a good family with both a mother and a father that loved us, taught us right from wrong and valued education. 

If I didn't have that, I have no idea where I would be right now. I feel mostly sadness and sorrow for people who do horrible things, not condemnation.  I hate it when people share horrible news stories about child abuse and commenters come out with posting all the horrible things they want to do to the perpetrator. Vengeance never helped anyone. 

5. Who is your favorite saint?

Well, I have a new favorite Saint!  Hooray!

Pope John Paul II was the Pope of my Youth and early adult years. I don't have any great stories about meeting him.  I'm never seen him in person.  The closest I've come to him, was when me and 313 million other people were in the same country as he during his visits to the United States. 

Nonetheless, I loved him.  I believe he was greatly responsible for bringing large numbers of Catholics (of my generation) back to the Catholic church.  I loved his teachings, his writings (what little, I've read), his moral strength and his love. 

Saint John Paul II gives us hope.  His motto was "Be Not Afraid".  Something I need to hear about a million times a day.

My next favorite saint is St. Rita  Who I first read about in this book.

Great book, by the way, perfect for teenagers. Anyway, I loved all the stories in this book, but St. Rita's especially stuck with me. 

Her story is pretty amazing!  I mean, she actually prayed for the death of her sons, so they would die in a state of grace, rather than recover from illness and fall into sin again. It is a great reminder that this life is fleeting, that the goal is heaven. Better to die young in a state of grace, than old in a state of sin. 

6. Introvert or extrovert?

Is it weird that I don't know? I think I'm a pretty even mixture of both.  I need quiet periods alone AND time around other people with adult conversation each day.  I love hanging out with people, I love having a full house, I love parties.  My happiest summer was the summer I was a camp counselor for Christian Appalachian project in Eastern Kentucky.  I loved living in the dorms at college, being surrounded by others. I don't mind having a lot of people around.  In fact, I prefer it. But,on the other hand, I don't like big crowds and I don't like being around people I don't know.  I love going to the beach or parks or stores when they are deserted. And I do crave quiet time each day, but not as much as I crave adult time.  And, I never really feel crowded by my children or touched out or any of those things. I don't mind being around them all the time, but the times that are quiet, I do certainly enjoy. If I had choose though, I would take being surrounded by others over being alone, just about any day. 

And, since it's Sunday, here is what I wore today.

Not my favorite outfit, but it is what I wore I think that shirt would look better with a tighter, more fitted skirt. 

And this child, gets an F---- for Mass behavior.

She was actually not too bad, until partway through when I had to take her out to the back. She was standing right next to me, when I suddenly looked down and saw her diaper and diaper cover on the ground.  Yep, she partially de-nuded herself, right in the middle of Mass.  Thankfully she was wearing a dress that mostly covered everything, until she lifted it up that is. So, yes, we quickly walked to the bathroom to get her all outfitted again.

Then, on the way home, she was howling in the car..literally howling..like a wolf.  She gives a remarkably good wolf-like impersonation. She was baptized..I swear...so no idea why she's acting like a pagan...what with stripping in the church and howling and all.  At least it makes a funny story!

Go see FLAP for more Sunday clothes . 

Why I Love Easter, Child Spacing, Homeschooling and Other Random Thoughts.

1.

For the first time, in well over a year, I sorta have writer's block. I can't really think what to blog about...so I'll just let 7 things that have been rumbling around in my head, spill out on the computer screen.

2.

I love Easter....probably even more than Christmas.  I love how we have the season of joy and celebration after a season of penance and suffering.  It's been said that you have to go through pain, to find joy and every year the Lent/Easter season reminds us of that.  You have to suffer through Good Friday and the reminder of the Crucifixion to get to Easter Sunday...the joy of the Resurrection. 

3. 

On a more secular note, I love Easter egg hunts and chocolate candy. The kids have an endless amount of fun hiding Easter eggs and finding them (even if they are empty), again and again and again.   Our kids even set up an Easter egg hunt for Ben and me.  I have to say, those eggs were well-hidden...harder than we hid them, anyway.

4.

Easter reminds us what our faith is all about.  It reminds us why Christianity is so different from every other religion.  Jesus wasn't just a great leader, or a prophet or this charismatic guy that everyone followed.  He claimed to be the SON OF GOD.  That's a pretty major claim. And, then he died in the most humbling, horrifying manner possible. And, then he ROSE FROM THE DEAD.  Which is pretty darn amazing when you think about it.   Easter is really what our faith is all about..and I love that about it.  It's why Jesus Christ is not in the same category as Abraham or Mohammad or Gandhi or anyone else.  None of them ROSE FROM THE DEAD. 

(Go see Micaela for more reasons to love Easter..and send her a nice little Congratulations note :). 

5.

Let's talk about something else now.  Let's talk about child spacing.  I love the Catholic blogosphere.  I love the Catholic community there.  But, one of the curses is that due to my own insecurities, I always feel super inadequate about my family size and child spacing.  As though, somehow we are "less Catholic" because we don't have a baby every 18 months-2 years.  By the world' standards, we have a large family, but by Catholic standards, it's pretty small for a couple who has been married as long as we have (13 years).  I will admit to feeling a teeny, tiny stab of envy whenever anyone writes something like "we had 4 kids in 6 years" or "5 kids, 8 and under" or "God blessed us 5 times in 8 years." or "I've been pregnant 5 times in 6 years" It's a badge of honor I don't get to have.  Somehow saying, "we had 4 kids in 11 years" isn't all that impressive.  It's just not.  I never get any nasty comments about my family size.  No one is really that impressed with 4 kids, spread out over a span of 10 years.  No one asks me "how I do it".  No one talks about us in awed tones "they have 4 kids, 12 and under."   I think this has been weighing on my mind more, just because I'm already 36.  I don't have tons of years of fertility left, especially since I wasn't all that fertile in my 20's (and breastfeeding really affects my fertility) so I highly doubt it's going to get any better as I get older.   

6.

Other thoughts....any other homeschoolers find it INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT to balance time at home doing school with time outside the home, doing fun stuff, like coops, activities, park days, etc.  On the one hand, we really need to stay home to get our school work done.  The day is just too stressed if we try to do outside activities and school all in the same day.  I hate feeling like we need to be done by la certain time.  It just makes me and the kids stressed and I yell too much.  On the other hand, we really, really NEED to get out of the house and see other people and do fun stuff.  It's just SO HARD to balance everything.  Sigh  Any tips.  (and yes, that is a lot of capital letters...I'm feeling a bit dramatic tonight). 

7. 

I've been trying to eliminate my tired, stressed out voice. You know that voice...the one you use when you are just tired and stressed out.  Part of doing that is learning that I really need to just slow down.  I think a big part of my problem is that I have way too many expectations of all the things I want/need to get done in a day, so I end up spending the day just running around, being impatient and stressed out with everyone.  I've learned that I really need to just limit the amount of stuff I expect myself to do in a day and learn how to slow down, instead of rushing, rushing, rushing all the time. Part of that is realizing that it takes longer to do stuff than I think.  You would think after 4 kids I would have figured this out, but it takes longer to get out  the door, longer to eat lunch, longer to clean-up, longer to do just about everything...and that's okay.  Once, I realize it takes longer, I can work on not being so stressed and planning for it.  I must be an awfully slow learner, because it took me A LONG TIME to figure these things. 

And, I think I've used up my allotted quota of words in ALL CAPS for one blog post, so go see Jen for more 7 Quick Takes Friday (and congratulate her on her book). 

Five Alternative Health Practices I Do

I know I've said this before, but my parents were crunchy before it was cool.  While all the other kids were given regular old cold medicine,  we were given fenugreek tea.  

When everyone else was eating fluffernutter sandwiches, we had to eat organic collard soup.  Blech. I hated collard soup nights. Don't get me wrong, we still saw regular doctors, but not all that often, only if something was really wrong or for the occasional injury.  

Anyway, given my upbringing, it's no surprise that I have taken an interest in alternative health. Ear aches, sore throats, coughs, colds....I have a home remedy for that.  We do see regular doctors if we need them, and my kids do get regular well-child check-ups, but I also do a few alternative health practices that I feel have improved my health.  

So, I'm going to share what I do...with you. 

1. 

Oil Pulling.

Oil pulling is basically swishing 1 tablespoon of oil in your mouth (I use coconut oil) each day for approximately 20 minutes and then spitting out the oil.  It is said to removes toxins, bacteria, microbes and other nasty things from your mouth and between your teeth. I do it first thing in the morning and I definitely feel as though my dental health has improved since starting this practice.  Here is an excellent article from a dentist that explain the benefits of this in more detail.    Granted, it's not very fun and a lot of people find it fairly uncomfortable, but as an added bonus, you can't talk while oil pulling, which means that for at least 20 minutes a day, no one can ask you dumb questions you've already answered 50 million times.  Bonus.

2. 

Seed Cycling

Seed cycling helps balance your hormones. It involves consuming different seeds at different times of the menstrual cycle.  During the first half (pre-ovulation) you eat 1 tablespoon of flax seeds and 1 tablespoon of pumpkin seeds each day.  During the second half (post-ovulation) you eat 1 tablespoon of sesame seeds and 1 tablespoon of sunflower seeds each day.  You can read more about seed cycling here. 

I mix my seeds into my full-fat, plain Greek yogurt, mixed with honey and it is very, very yummy.

This is something I have just started doing very recently, so I really only have one cycle to compare it to. However, I do believe that I have definitely seen a decrease in PMS symptoms.  I used to get absolutely horrible PMS (ask Ben or my parents if you don't believe me). It's been much better in recent years due to other health improvements, but I think the seed cycling is definitely helping as well.  It also appears to have lengthened my luteal phase slightly....it was a bit shorter than normal thanks to a certain toddler who nurses like a newborn.  I wrote a bit about my experience with NFP, cycle length and breastfeeding toddlers here. 

And, even if doesn't make a difference, all those seeds are healthy and it's a good idea to eat them anyway. 

3.

Gluten-Free

This isn't so much an alternative health practice as a dietary thing.  Why do I eat gluten-free when I don't have celiac (that I know about)?  Well to put it quite simply, gluten makes me depressed and anxious.  Not in a I'm so depressed I can't function, or I'm so anxious I can't leave my house way, but just in the sense that there is a general fog over my mood and I never experience feelings of peace or contentment.  There is always some sort of stress in life.  Before I removed gluten from my diet, I would feel as though I always had a cloud over my mood, whatever that particular stress happened to be, I would focus on it (in the back of my mind) and never feel completely happy or content.  I could function just fine, but there was this ever present niggling cloud of anxiety and worry.  Eliminating gluten from my diet has eliminated (or at least greatly lessened) that cloud of worry and allows me to feel more general peace and contentment. 

4. 

Vitamin D Supplements

I take anywhere from 0-5000 IU per day, depending on the season and how much sun/outdoor time we've been getting and if we are fighting off a cold. I don't take any if it's summer and we've been outside in the sun for much of the day.  I take the full amount in the winter when anyone in the family has a cold.  I've definitely noticed a significant decrease in the number and severity of colds and other winter illness I've dealt with since starting Vitamin D supplementation.  I used to think that I could get enough Vitamin D from the sun, but if I'm honest with myself, I don't spend that much time in full-on sun with most of my body exposed.  Hanging out at the beach in a bikini is just not my thing. We prefer to go to the beach later in the day, when the sun is not so strong. Plus, I don't wear bikinis.   And, when it's really hot I don't enjoy sitting in the sun...I much prefer to hang out in the shade, so I'm pretty sure I'm just not in the sun enough to make enough Vitamin D, especially as I have a naturally darker complexion, which means I need more sun exposure as compared to someone with fairer skin.  You can read more about Vitamin D here. 

5. 

Seaweed/Fucoidan Supplement

Fucoidan is a brown seaweed supplement.  Seaweed is incredibly healthy for you and fucoidan is an incredibly healthy species.  It naturally contains iodine and helps boost thyroid function and metabolism.  I've been taking this supplement for quite some time and I do believe that it definitely helped me lose the baby weight after Elsa was born without really dieting. much faster than after my other kids were born.  I was back into my pre-pregnancy jeans by about 8 weeks, which is much earlier (like 4 months earlier) than it happened with my previous pregnancies.  Of course, I'm sure it's better to eat actual seaweed, but as regular dietary food, seaweed is just not affordable nor attainable here in the good ole' U.S. of A.  At least not that I've seen.  Of course with any supplement, you have to be careful to find a good, quality brand.

So...those are some of the things I do.  Do you do any alternative health practices?  I'd love to hear about it!!

(Linking up for Five Favorites). 

Happy Easter!! Answering Some Questions about What We Wore.

Happy Easter!!

Alleluia!  

Christ is Risen!

He is Risen Indeed.  (that is the traditional Easter Season Greeting, but unlike Kendra, I'm not going to go around saying that to people...probably not, anyway). 

To celebrate Easter, I'm linking up with Kendra for more Sunday Questions.

1. What did you and your family wear to Mass on Easter Sunday?

We didn't really wear anything different than what we wear on a regular Sunday.  I never buy special Easter clothes.  An occasion has to be REALLY special (like a wedding) for us to buy special clothes for it.  So, we just wore our regular Sunday clothes. I took individual shots because it's so much easier to get a good shot, individually...and even that is a huge challenge with certain kids.  Either that or my kids are especially uncooperative when it comes to pictures.   Probably that is it.

Yes, Heidi and I are practically wearing the same outfit.  Like mother, like daughter.  

Linking this one up with FLAP for What I Wore Easter Sunday. 

2. Easter Bunny: thumbs up or thumbs down?

Thumbs down.  Way, way down.  My parents used to do the Easter bunny when we were kids, until one year they put us all on the Feingold Diet and all we got was homemade carob eggs in our Easter baskets.  Carob!??!?!?  My parents were crunchy, health-food nuts before it was cool.  Thankfully, carob has gone by the wayside, because everyone knows that chocolate is healthy.  

Anyway, we don't really do things like Santa or the Easter Bunny.  And, it really has nothing to do with lying or magic, but because I refuse to give some mythical creature credit for MY HARD WORK.  I just don't have the energy to keep up the Santa/Easter Bunny facade.  Plus, in our 13 years of marriage, we've had richer years and poorer years (more poorer), and some years we can't do as much for Christmas or Easter.  It just makes it easier when you don't have the pressure of having to be Santa/Easter Bunny.  Our kids always get something, but it's not always the same.  Some years they've gotten bigger Easter presents, and some years, it's just been a bit of candy and something small.   This year, we didn't even have Easter baskets.  They each got something small (but not in a basket), and then tons of candy for our egg hunt.  We've moved to so much that Easter baskets just do not make the moving cut, and it's not something I want to spend money on. 

3. Do you prefer to celebrate holidays at your own house or at someone else's house?

I prefer to celebrate at someone else's house.  But that hardly ever happens...really the only times were for our three years at Ave Maria Law school where we celebrated with good friends.  Second to that I prefer to celebrate at our house with friends or family over.  We aren't doing that this year either, because we don't have any family nearby and haven't lived here long enough to make good friends (plus, we're probably moving in a few months).  This year, it's just us, so we are staying pretty low key. We went to Mass.  We had an egg hunt with the insane of amount of Easter candy my mom sent (thanks Mom!) and then we're having ham and lots of gluten-free goodies. And, I'm planning on watching lots of Netflix and catching up on Lost...since I gave up watching alone for Lent. 

Hey, there's candy inside these things!

4. What is your favorite kind of candy?

Chocolate truffles. I LOVE chocolate truffles. Second to that, would be a chocolate/peanut butter combination (like Reese's peanut butter cups).   But, really, truffles are my favorite. 

5. Do you like video games?

No, I don't get the point of them.  I love to read. If I want to relax/chill out/waste time, I read.  Blogs, message boards, books, articles, the cereal box, whatever is available. Or I write...blog posts, message boards,  whatever.   My kids don't play video games either.  For one thing, we don't have any video game consoles (like x-box, wii..boy do we sound pathetic..huh?)  And, their favorite game is chess, so they do play that A LOT on the computer. They are crazy into chess.   They spend enough time on the computer...playing chess, watching chess videos or writing stories, that I shudder to think of them spending more time playing video games. 

6. Do you speak another language? 

Not fluently.  I took Spanish in high school, but don't remember much.  And, I'm sorta learning Latin along with my kids  Sorta.  I rely on the teacher's manual a lot when correcting stuff.

May you All have a Blessed and Holy Easter Season!!! 

Motherhood - It's Not the Toughest Job in the World

Perhaps you've seen that viral Hallmark Video proclaiming that Motherhood is THE TOUGHEST JOB IN THE WORLD.
 


If you haven't, save yourself.  It's horrible.  First this company puts out a fake ad for a job they called "Director of Operations."

Then they tricked a bunch of people into a fake interview and told them the job involved working 24/7/365 with no breaks, no sleep, no pay, you can barely sit down and you can only eat when you associate is done eating. Then they tell them millions of people already hold this job....I'm sure you see where this is going.  Moms.

About the only true part of that is the no pay.  And, actually my 6-yo son gave me a dime he found on the ground the other day...so see, I do get pay.

Let's not even mention the moral issue with getting people's hopes up for a fake job so you can trick them into making a sappy video to sell cards.

Even besides that, motherhood isn't that bad, and it's certainly not the toughest job in the world.  I could think of about a billion different jobs that are tougher...things like oh...brain surgeon where one slip of the knife leads to death.  Or the slaves...working outside in the hot sun, slaving over cotton fields.  Or the people who built the Pyramids of Egypt back before they had cranes.  Heck, my job one summer working on a dairy farm milking cows was tougher than this...I had to get up 2:30 AM, every day, clean boatloads of cow poop off the cow's udders and deal with stinky ornery cows in the summer heat.  Or being a grad student, and having to get up at 3:30 AM to drive 25 minutes out to a farm, just so I can wrestle cows to take their blood.  And, let's not mention ultrasounding cow ovaries...it involved long gloves and more poop.  All that is tougher than motherhood.   Sure, motherhood involves dealing with some poop....but not nearly as much or as disgusting as those cows produced.  And, at least my kids love me, the cows couldn't have cared less about me.

I can get plenty of sleep.  Sure, occasionally I have to wake-up in the middle of night to attend to a child, but overall, I am well-rested and get plenty of sleep....even with co-sleeping.  I do plenty of sitting down (the size of my rear ends attest to that).  I can pretty much eat when I want to.

Yes, there is laundry to be done, food to be prepared and children to be attended to, but it's hardly the toughest job in the world.  I mean...I have a dishwasher, a washing machine, a dryer, air conditioning, heat, electric stove.  We even have Netflix....electronic babysitting available 24/7.  It's not like I have to chop firewood and stand over a boiling pot.  Some of my daily duties involve things like taking my kids to park day so they can run around with friends and I can sit around and chat with my friends in the warm sun.  Oooo...that's tough.   Or, sitting on the computer, reading blogs while the baby/toddler nurses...not exactly hard labor.  Last week, I spent a few hours just sitting on the front steps in the sun reading a book while the toddler played in the yard.

The video is meant to make people appreciate their own mothers...so they will spend money on Hallmark Cards for them this Mother's Day, but ultimately I found the entire thing to be very anti-child and anti-life.  No woman is going to want to have kids if she thinks it is akin to slavery.   No one is going to want to have more than 1 or 2 kids if they think motherhood is so difficult and tiring and lack of sleeping and you can never get a chance to sit down again.  We need to be telling people that motherhood is wonderful, not that it's horrible.  Yes, there are hard parts, but it's not 24/7 slavery.  A baby doesn't ruin your life.  It doesn't take your life away.  A baby enriches your life and makes it so much better, it may be a bit harder, but it is better. You don't lose yourself when you become a mother, you gain yourself.

Yes, motherhood is hard...but  guess what....life is hard. The sooner you can accept that, the better off you will be.  Sometimes I think that a lot of suffering we bring upon ourselves is because we spend so much time kicking our feet and complaining about how hard life is.  We're so used to comfort, soft beds and pilllows, air-conditioned/heated comfort, instanteous food at the touch of a microwave button, pain relief at the pop of a pill.. that we lose all sight of the fact that life is hard. That life is supposed to involve work.  That hard work is GOOD.  That everything isn't supposed to be easy.  We complain when we have to get out of our warm, soft beds in the middle of the night to go into a warm room and attend to a crying child that we forget about the legions of people before us who slept on the cold, hard ground. We moan about poopy diapers and forget about the nurses and doctors who take care infected, pus-filled wounds on a regular basis.

None of this is meant to belittle the work of motherhood. It IS hard, but its not the toughtest job the world as the video claims.  Matt Walsh basically said the same thing, but he's a man, so not actually a mother.  I wanted to put my two cents...as a mother (a homeschooling mother even)..out there.  Granted, I don't have special needs children, I can only imagine how much harder that must be.  I'm sure many mothers do have a life much harder than mine.  There are mothers who have to deal with feeding tubes and therapies and wheelchairs and numerous doctor's visits.  There are mothers who have to say goodbye to their children way too soon.  That is tough, very, very tough.

But generally, I don't think *my* life as a mother is all that tough.

Not that I don't want my kids to appreciate me on Mother's Day.  I'll accept a card (chocolate is even better).   But, I don't think my job is all that difficult.  I don't think motherhood is the toughest job in the world.  In fact, I don't think it's a job at all. It's a vocation.  When I'm nursing a baby, or reading stories or answering a million questions, or holding a clingy toddler, or hugging my child, I'm not working, I'm loving.  Yes, there are parts that are work (cleaning, laundry, cooking dinner) but those are acts of love.  I don't do them for pay, I do them because they need to get done and it is an act of love to do them for my family.

Let's not put mothers up on a pedestal.  They don't belong there.  The more we buy into this idea that mothers are these super martyrs that belong up on a pedestral, the more anti-child and anti-life we become. You don't have to be a super-human martyr to be a mother...you just have to have the capacity for loving another human being.